Saturday, March 7, 2009

Our Friends Are So Fashion

Dhani Mau, my roommate and one of my best friends since freshman year, has been writing for The Supermelon for a while. She recently wrote a recap of the best of new fashion for Fall 2009. Read it, live it, wear it! Or maybe just find it on sale at some vintage store in Brooklyn.


Thursday, March 5, 2009

"At least you're getting fodder for writing" - My Mother (Always the optimist)

So. I did an experiment for you guys and you didn't even know it. I wanted to test my "there are no nice guys in New York" theory so I wrote this and then hung out with a nice guy for a week. He was really nice. He was southern and had dreams of law school and apologized when he was wrong. It was a shock to see. I couldn't look him in the eye so I would always make scrunch-faces when he tried to do so. I curled my body up in these contorted, hardened shapes because I thought that would keep him out. But in just one week my guard fell because OMG he was so nice and OMG I'm only 21 I should be less jaded.

Lol, jk. I'm still jaded. Um... tremendously so. Get this: there are no nice dudes in New York. They might pretend to be nice but soon they will get scrunch-face too when you try to look them in the eye and then some kind of panic alarm will go off in your brain and soon you'll get an e-mail that's like "I hope we can be friends." (We can't) At least this cultivated my self-loathing some more. That was an area I was kind of lacking before. I think that's why I was dating mean guys: cuz I love myself so much. But then I dated a nice guy and he was kind of a jerk and I got the chance to reinstate my self-loathing. I knew some good would come from this.

But seriously there are no nice guys in New York. If you have dreams of kissing romantically at Chelsea Piers or holding hands beneath the table at Cafeteria, you are probably a douche bag, but you are also a dumbass because it's not going to happen.

Just some truth for you. You can thank me for doing the experiment in the name of J&J by allowing me to stew in my own self-pity for awhile (and getting blackout drunk) without calling it out in the comments.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Peter Frank Wants to Talk It Out

I said I didn't like CollegeACB. But after talking to site founder Peter Frank, I'm a little more optimistic for the forums' future.

Peter Frank (friend of the blog!) wants to know all about you! Well, not really. He just wants you to be able to vent.

Which is why he shelled out a five-figure sum for JuicyCampus's traffic. "I saw an opportunity to fill a hole in the market," he told me via Facebook message (so new media!) "People want a place to vent anonymously, I thought that even if advertising wasn't my main goal, I'd eventually make my money back (and hopefully more)."

How will he make that money, seeing as how his site currently lacks adspace? "Eventually we will have ads," he said, before going on to add that "he goal of the site isn't to make money, but I do hope it goes that way one day." Clearly, this is a future investment; he provides a service now, and hopes that it will make later, offering students a chance to anonymously let off steam all the while.

But Juicy Campus already tried this and failed. What makes Frank so sure he can navigate these catty viral waters better than they did? "JuicyCampus had high overhead," he explains, citing an overabundance of employees and costly, inefficient coding over at the now-dead gossip hub. "We have basically no costs--only hosting and my time."

And does the site ever take up his time! Running a burgeoning gossip empire ain't no hobby. Has Frank become a campus celebrity because of his site? "Yes. I've been approached at parties and asked if I ran the ACB. Our paper (The Argus) ran a story about me, so that's how most people know." But he hasn't lost any friends over the risk of Internet exposure: "Those who trust me enough to share secrets aren't worried about the fact that I own the ACB," he says.

But what of those he doesn't trust? Like, say, all the people who dragged Juicy Campus far enough through the mud for the site to be forced to shut down? "You have to remember that we are receiving much of our traffic directly from people trying to go to," Frank points out. "There's not going to be a huge difference in post content overnight." Plus, he says the site is already "seeing more posts of substance." Much of the content I saw would seem to contradict this--the usual homophobic, racist, or otherwise slanderous posts that marred Juicy Campus garner the most attention. But to Frank's credit, I have seen some more intelligent efforts from students, often in the form of questioning the very drivel for which Internet message boards are infamous.

Well, good luck to you, Peter. I'm sure I speak for plenty of people when I say that I hope your site eventually matches your mission of giving students "a place to vent, rant, and talk to college peers in an environment free from social constrains and about subjects that might otherwise be taboo [...] from sex and sexuality, to politics, to classes and campus life."

For now, let's relish in the reasoned discourse of NYU students. To quote one anonymous NYU student: "Greenwich Village is a scum bucket. i cant believe ive signed onto this shitshow." [sic], naturally.


1st Ave and St. Marks

This old guy and this old woman were talking on the street and then they kissed each other's cheeks and she walked down 1st ave and only looked back over her shoulder once to glance at him and he got into his 1998 Volvo and pulled a bottle from one of those black and gold liquor store bags and I thought he was inspecting some nice wine he bought and then he took a swig of it and then he took another swig and it was obvious that it was rum and that he was sad and then I got really sad because smoking a cigarette seems more meaningful and serious when you do it while listening to your iPod. I hope he doesn't drive away soon but I also hope he doesn't pass out on the wheel. Now I'm watching his car from my bedroom window. I shouldn't read poetry even if it is about the internet and animation games, it only depresses me.


The Internet Has Officially Changed Everything**

**The above not an original statement.
People probably said this same shit when e.e. cummings stopped using correct grammar formats.

I just sat on my couch listening to my iPod because I am a millennial and read the entirety of sometimes my heart pushes my ribs by Ellen Kennedy, which Tao Lin was kind enough to send me as his press, Muumuu House, publishes it. (Oh god, "In an Aeroplane Over the Sea" just started playing so there is a 50% chance I'll start crying while writing this post)

The internet has officially changed everything. I know that Tao is notorious for writing poetry about Gchat and energy drinks, but Ellen even uses "like" in her poems. (Example: "then you went into your room and your computer had this/program that you could make animations with/and you made like 5 videos of your dad/changing from a happy dad/to a pissed dad.")

Poetry has always been about personal expression and I guess this is the way our generation knows how to do so. I'm not going to say memes and internet culture and protocelebrities are ruining poetry as an art form or spitting in the face of academia, but I think it's an interesting progression. Poetry these days seems lifted straight from blogs, fraught with intentional typos and internet memes and euphemisms. (At least the poetry being vommed up by young people). Ew. Poetry is like a conglomerate of Tweets extracted from the internetz and published in highly specific methods in the pages of this bizarre, dying object called a "book."

I seriously don't know what to think about the breakdown between poetry and regular creative writing. I've taken a number of poetry classes, read a lot of poetry and write some really emo shit, but I feel torn about this whole thing. Part of me misses the days when poetry was this respected art form (well, maybe that was only the case in Paris?) and was elevated to this prestigious, unattainable way of expressing yourself that only really talented people could do well. But now maybe anyone who has a handle of the English language and a Twitter account can become a poet. Perhaps that makes poetry less ostracizing, more inclusive and available to wider audiences, but it also kind of dumbs it down. "Poetry isn't for smart people anymore! Check out this poem I wrote about having an AIM convo while hitting a bong."

Maybe there's just not room for real poetry anymore (RIP J&J Lit Salon). Maybe we're all philistines now and would simply prefer to trade in conversations that begin wth "lol" and perilously scramble up highbrow and lowbrow forms until everything's just middlea.k.a.boringbrow. The internet has democratized art hierarchies! But what will happen, finally, to poetry?


Celebz Are Twitterin

Check these celebrity Twitterers... they aren't being ironic. =/

Whitney Port:

Leighton Meester:


Yes, Shaq. lol.


The Thing About Texas

Reader and (hopefully not former) fan of the blog Kristy commented on my Things That Annoy Me post--specifically, on point number four, which takes a rather blatant and perhaps unfair dig at her home state. Here's what she had to say (edited for length; her full comment appears on the post in question) and my response.


you know, that backwards place where people hate Rent because it's just so gay and taunt black people with nooses

Even with your last-minute admission that you are sterotyping an entire state, I am disappointed and annoyed by this. I really expected better after reading other blogs of yours. I've always wondered why it is that NYC is so forcefully "anti-Texas." Yes, bad things do happen here, as they do everywhere. However, Texas is a much more complicated state than many give us credit for. Politically speaking, traditionally, in many, many states, the rural population does tend to be/vote more conservatively, and this trend is not isolated to the Bible Belt. However, the urban areas are much more diverse. You should take a look at the recent demographic changes happening in the urban areas, such as Dallas/Fort Worth. Our rural population is huge compared to our urban population - we are too big to be defined by one city, unlike other, smaller, and more vocal states. [...] Yes, ideally (for me) everyone in Texas would become liberal overnight. However, people seem to forget the significance of the Madisonian Dilemma, and the rights we all have to be fiscally or politically conservative OR liberal.

I've lived in Texas almost my entire life, and I've never even held a noose. The incident to which you're referring occurred in the small town of Paris, TX, population 26,000 out of 23,904,380 Texans (per the 2007 census estimate), and the majority of us are as outraged and disgusted as the rest of the nation. I'm also an ardent fan of Rent, and though your context makes it sound as if all Texans are incapable of tolerating homosexuals, the link you posted was to a story about the show being produced in high school. I don't think that a reluctance to portray heroine use, violent hate crimes, and blatant sexuality is appropriate for a production/audience of mostly 13 - 18 year olds. This statement is akin to a Texan saying that all New Yorkers are rude, that making eye-contact with anyone will result in being jumped by a street gang, that you have no manners or respect for anyone who disagrees with you...only without the implication of violent racial intolerance.

In any case, throwing stereotypes of this sort at any demographic - especially an entire state as huge as Texas - shows an immaturity I was not expecting from this blog. And the racial implications, insulting the cultural scene (which is undergoing massive growth and expansion especially here in D/FW), and calling us all 'backward' is not a way to bring this country together - or to cast a positive light on your blog.

Ya'll have a good day, now.

Well, I think I've been schooled. The comment to which Kristy took offense was meant in a tongue-in-cheek way, because while the state surely has many more redeeming qualities than racist undertones, it does have a reputation--especially in the Northeast--as this giant conservative dude ranch where the cowboys hate gays and the spirit of the fifties--in all its sexist, racist glory--never quite left. Are these stereotypes untrue? Probably! And I shouldn't have made such a blanket statement about such a large place.

That said, Texas has given us George W. Bush and Halliburton: the worst president of recent memory and a corporate symbol of the corruption and cronyism that marked the Bush administration's worst tendencies. As a result, unfairly or not, we blue-state voters don't have the best views of Texas right now.

I know that there's a lot more to Texas than small-town racist incidents and a high school banning Rent. I'm aware that the state's liberal voice has recently grown louder; in fact, my wonderful Creative Writing teacher from last semester, Paul Lisicky, went to a large Prop 8 rally in Houston. The article to which Kristy linked about the shifting political demographics in Texas--SparkNotes version: it's getting less conservative--has opened my eyes to the degree to which Texas is shedding its neoconservative past and seemingly embracing if not a liberal future, then at least a more politically moderate one.

I know racism and classism and sexism exist in the city--believe me, I know--but I think that the socially regressive problems that occasionally plague the city are still a lot worse--at the very least, more obvious--in Texas. Maybe that's just a natural consequence of its size (of course there are going to be more crazies somewhere in that big ol' plot of land) but I do think that, stereotype or not, New York City and the surrounding tri-state area is more liberal than Texas. And I also think that the state (if its residents care) has a long way to go before it's considered favorably by its neighbors to the north.

Because that was my point. New Jersey is far more liberal than Texas, and I think that my closeted, nerdy childhood would have been a lot more traumatic had I grown up in many areas of the Lone Star State. Despite all that, however, Texan politicians seem to understand the needs of public schoolchildren much better than totally respectable lawmakers in Trenton.

Again, my comment was meant to seem tongue-in-cheek, and I don't have anything against the entire state of and everyone residing in Texas. It was playing off Northern notions of what Texas is and stands for, and was meant to be a lead-in to a compliment of the state's positive educational developments.

I stand by my snark, as always, but I think I went a little too far this time, and someone called me out on it. Thanks for that, Kristy, and keep on reading.


Investigative Journalism: College Gossip Edition

So remember how there's a new site called CollegeACB that is, on the most basic level, pretty much a reincarnation of JuicyCampus? And remember how I mocked it because I don't like the idea of virtual virulence on anonymous college message boards?

Well, I wanted to find out more. Straight from the source, in fact (and not anonymously). So I contacted site founder/ballsiest freshman ever Peter Frank, and he's agreed to answer some questions I have about his new web project. Stay tuned for more!


For a Wannabe Cultural Critic, I Suck at Knowing About Culture

As proof I offer you a BBM conversation between me and Joe:

ME: Always late to the parT but reading Hipster Runoff for the 1st time and lolololol
JOE: Hahahah there are also these funny pictures of cats and there are words spelled wrong written on them bc it's as if the CATS were saying it.
JOE: You should check those out.
ME: Are you serious? That's so lol-worthy they should call them lolcats!! Also what is "Twilight?"
JOE: Pls see twilight it's a celebration of sexual tension and teenage girls getting wet at the thought of contact written by a mormon who obviously touches herself daily.
JOE: Plus vampires
ME: I think I saw that on
ME: Big love meets Buffy meets Anal Avengers 4
JOE: Yeah but for kids
ME: Meets Barney
JOE: I actually rly enjoyed it and still think about the pothead pale boy who plays the lead.
JOE: And the dude is hilariously brooding and from what I hear, dreamy.
ME: I've seen him on billboards he is such a dreamboat and doin PR wonders for us pale peeps.
JOE: I'd never read the books but the movie was fun and horrible
ME: Gotta add it to my spank bank materialz along with Blair/Chuck makeout scenes.
JOE: Yeah it's that level but more blue balls
ME: No but what is "Watchmen?"


Tuesday, March 3, 2009

If At First You Don't Succeed...

...Then redo your site to make it look a modicum more "sophisticated" and give it a more ambiguous name. That, friends, is what CollegeACB is all about. Recently dead gossip site Juicy Campus now redirects to the "Anonymous Confession Board."

The site's so-called press release claims that CollegeACB "is devoted to promoting actual discussion, not provoking salacious posts or personal attacks." Sample post: "h8 darkies." Ah, but the poster didn't mention any specific "darkies" by name. Carry on then!


P.S. In case you don't want to sift through this awful awful Web site, I've posted site founder Peter Frank's listed contact info below, so you can call him and tell him what you think of his new "honest, and engaging, web-based community." Remember to dial *67 before the number to remain anonymous. Also, it's worth noting that Frank, but a little tiny freshman at little tiny Wesleyan University, purchased the rights to Juicy Campus's traffic in a "five-figure deal." Peter Frank: ballsiest freshman ever, or just the dumbest? Such are the unanswerable questions in this difficult new digital age.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Things That Annoy Me

Several of America's (many) misfortunes have been bugging me lately. Which ones, you ask? Let me break it down for you.

1. Famous people who talk about how much they hate being famous. I've heard this most recently, and most obviously, in Kanye West's latest single-but-not single "Welcome to Heartbreak." Look, if your fame took you by complete surprise and you've been having trouble dealing with it, then by all means, bitch to your listeners! I'm sure life with the paparazzi and gossip blogs and general lack of privacy takes much getting used to, and it can seem too annoying to bear at times. But my sympathy only extends so far. Kanye, you say that you "chased the good life all my life long, look back on my life and my life gone. Where did I go wrong?" But...really? You think you went "wrong" somewhere? You bemoan your fame, even though you tell us in the same fucking verse that you fly first class? Oh, your life is so hard; how fame has thrust itself upon you! Sheesh. Call me crazy, but I don't think running around Paris Fashion Week and publicly stating that you want to "do something that's like completely normal" make you anything close to a victim.

"But his art," you might contest. "He just wants to be able to produce his music. It's not his fault the press stays at him!" Bullshit. He could disappear for a while, if his famous life is troubling him so badly. More than that, he had plenty of time to decide whether he wanted to try for such levels of fame as he has now; his mega-fame is now five years in the making. The College Dropout was huge, yes, but he could've stepped back and said: "Maybe I don't want to do all this. Maybe I want a family right now. Maybe I should think about this so I don't blow up and then whine about it later." Because either he's lying on "Welcome to Heartbreak" or he's been lying his entire career--either option is pretty damn disingenuous. There are plenty of successful, talented artists across all genres who never really hit it big, owing in large part to the fact that they don't want high levels of fame. And who can blame them? It doesn't help matters that Kanye's been very honest about his career before (hello, "Good Morning"); in fact, that just makes me more annoyed that he seems to be doing a mental 180 before our very eyes. And I don't know if that 180 is entirely deserved.

2. The "gay panic" defense. It's completely outrageous to me that it stands as a justifiable legal defense; it permits violence against homosexuals on the grounds that the perpetrators were so shocked and appalled by the gayness being forced on them that they just had to kill some queers. This guy in Fresno is the latest in a sadly long (as in, existent) list of such panicked defenders; Fernando Limon claims he stabbed an area gay man to death because said gay man molested him. The defendant's lawyer has tried to cast his client as the real victim here, going so far as to say that he felt "violated because he's not gay." Oh, he felt violated! So naturally, he stabbed a guy to death. We as a society need to learn the true meaning of tolerance.

You can't make this shit up. I'm not saying that Fernando Limon definitely committed a hate crime--enraged over his victim's gayness, blinded to the violence he was committing-- but the idea that he may receive less than the punishment he deserves because he may or may not have been sexually "violated" by a gay man? Please. If he really felt so "violated," he should have gone straight to the police and taken it from there. But he didn't--he chose to kill a man. It wasn't in self-defense--the Limon's lawyer admits as much, and the article makes no mention of Limon now having any venereal diseases as a result of the alleged molestation--so I don't see why he felt he had to resort to murder. Which is what he is, a murderer, and he should be tried as such.

Then again, California politicians seem to have a difficult time thinking clearly when it comes to gays and murder. Some of them, it seems, think they're equally awful. Which would make Limon's act simply one of justifiable revenge. Let's hope for the sake of our justice system that the court doesn't agree with one Senator Scott Renfroe, who is a douchebag.

3. New York University's administrative policies. I only had one class today and it was a midterm; though it was no fun trudging through the snow to take it, I can see how it couldn't be pushed back. But many students had plenty of classes today, and probably hoped for an official snow day to let them off the hook. But no such luck! This morning, NYU posted a completely ridiculous message to students, basically telling them that yes, it expected up to a foot of snow and no, it wasn't going to cancel classes. Like, thanks for the weather report, jerks. Next student who slips on the ice and breaks his neck while walking to class in the midst of a snowstorm will only have himself to blame, huh.

4. How my blue-state, blue-ribbon school district is obsessed with standardized testing, but two Republican lawmakers in Texas--you know, that backwards place where people hate Rent because it's just so gay and taunt black people with nooses--have the right idea about students' education and public schools' accountability. According to the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, the two lawmakers "plan to introduce legislation next week that would replace the state’s current school accountability system based on annual standardized testing of students with one based on charting an individual student’s progress over time." In other words, schools would receive credit--both in terms of reputation and, I assume, finances--based on how each student was progressing, instead of just making sure the student body's average test scores are high enough. The Simpsons just did a funny episode on this very issue, and I agree with its basic premise: that public schools are forced into placing way too much importance on standardized test results, at the expense of perhaps their neediest students. I know it's just my opinion, and I know the views of some politicians do not speak for a state's entire populace, but how one state can be so wrong on some issues and so right on others is mind-boggling and, strangely, encouraging; it reminds me to check my stereotypes and remember that we're all rational beings capable of finding important things on which to agree, red state or blue. Tolerance! But seriously, Texas, wtf about the nooses? Come on.

Whoa, this is already long enough. Good night.


NYT Launches Local Citizen Journalist Platform

The NYTimes announced a citizen journalism section of the site today called "The Local" in a few neighborhoods in Brooklyn and New Jersey. It is going to use CUNY J-School students, NYTimes reporters and neighborhood residents to compile the most comprehensive and up-to-date coverage of events happening in those areas.

LOL. All the sudden the Times decides they want to interact with the unwashed masses? What, they don't want to be the "official word" anymore? Or wait, they still do, they just want to also piggyback off news blogs' success.

Last grasps at relevancy!!!

*sigh* I'm sure once they come out with an E. Village one I'll read it daily/want to write for it.


Classy Conversations About Joel McHale

Me: I bet Joel McHale smokes sooooo much weed.
My Roommate: Oh yeah definitely.
Me: He's the kind of guy who would like, fuck you really hard and then pull out and come all over your face.
My Roommate: YES! Totally. And like, I wouldn't mind....
Me: Not. At. All.


Also I made sooo many chocolate chip cookies so come over and eat some.


P.S. While Google Image searching for the pic above:
Me: *loud gasp* Oh my god. Oh... my god. I just... I just found a picture of Joel McHale KISSING A BABY. Fuck I think I just came.
My roommate: I wonder how many people have seen that picture and had the same reaction.

I Tweet Therefore I Am


Sunday, March 1, 2009

Everything's Happening

So! It's been a while.

Tomorrow I start my internship at a digital media company, and I'm so excited because this may be what I want to, ya know, do with my life, and the company is small and they all work in this giant room in a building in the Meatpacking District and at my interview there everyone seemed really nice and whew! I totally do not mind waking up early to begin working. Even though I'm not getting paid. I shall get paid in experience, and glances at the models in the Rag & Bone offices below my internship's.

Except, oh, wait, it's supposed to snow heavily tonight. And, oh yeah, I have a midterm tomorrow afternoon, right after my internship! And then more readings and papers and job interviews (I still have to get paid, don'tcha know) and all this crazy stuff, and it's like this semester was taking it easy on me until this past week, when it decided to shift into overdrive and deprive me sleep/give me stress.

So I haven't really had much time or desire for blogging as of late. I need to figure out a way to deal with my sure-to-be newly busy schedule without wanting to chuck it all and move to Nebraska. Hopefully, doing productive Internetty things all day will make me feel better about everything, and since we all know I'm hopelessly addicted to the Internet, I'm pretty optimistic.


I Did Not Ask to Look Into Your Freakin Crystal Ball

After having brunch at Polonia with my roommate and LolSam, I decided I'd have to suck it up and go to the nail salon to sit through a horribly boring hour of staring at the wall while my hands are scraped and glossed and I'm perpetually reminded of the caste system in place in this fine democracy of ours (cue: middle class guilt). There was some kind of psychic there chattering on with a younger woman about men and relationships. After she was finished getting her nails done she came up to me and touched my hair and asked me when my birthday was. I told her February 13th and she began rattling things off about me. It was fucking terrifying. Here's what she had to say:

1. You are a people-pleaser. (YES helloooo gratuitous blowjobs)
2. You are highly emotional. (Yes =/)
3. People are jealous of you. (hahahahahahahhahahahah no)
4. You have a lot on your mind right now, I can tell. (Yes.)
5. You have big business ventures in California. (Sadly the first thing I thought of was this.)

It got me thinking about a lot of things, but mostly about how I wish I didn't have to think at all, which is probably why I smoke a fair amount because it is the only thing that shuts my brain off completely. New York is such a clusterfuck of random, disparate emotions clanging up against each other in the hope of birthing symmetry but always failing miserably. This is beginning to read like an Ann M. Martin novel so I will stop there. I think I need to change nail salons: you shouldn't have to be thrown into the depths of an existential crisis by a psychic while you're simply trying to find Essie's Wicked on the nail polish shelf.



Last night my roommates and I had a drunken powwow at 3am while my one roommate made various foods to put sriracha on (a poached egg, wontons, a butter cookie... idk, it got weird). The conversation basically ended with a gigantic, collective "FML" because we are all so sick of school. My one roommate interns at Comedy Central and the other works at a fashion PR firm. We are all doing cool things outside of school and we're just so sick of the NYU bullshit. Even classes whose topics should be interesting to me are actually mind-blowingly boring. I can't sit still in a classroom. I feel restless the way I did in high school, perpetually posing the question "Why?" in the face of everything I'm learning. It's what stunted me from doing anything but going through the motions in high school: I couldn't understand why it was important to learn what I was learning. I feel that way now, and I haven't really felt that way since I got to college (except perhaps when I had to take a statistics class). It's really frustrating that we're PAYING $50,000/year to drunkenly groan "FUCK MY LIFE!" when we realize how much work we have and how uninterested we are in doing it.

There's just a total lack of motivation there, because I don't feel like I'm working towards a legitimate goal anymore. Sure, graduation, but that has never been a worry for me. I guess I'm just so convinced that I will be unemployed when I graduate, and I'm so terrified at the prospect of having to move back to my parents' house and work at Best Buy or something that I have completely shut down and stopped thinking of the looming Future. I keep working so hard though, even though I don't want to, even though it's exhausting and pointless. But the kicker is that I work harder for my extracurriculars (NYU Local, this blog, my job at a Book Review) than I do for any of my classes. Because those are the things I want to do, the things that interest me and are in the vein of things I want to do when I graduate. Writing an 8 page paper on dandyism or reading dense case studies by Freud are not things I'd want to do even if I did get paid for them.

Wah wah wah, I guess this is basically just my way of saying "Fuck Sundays."