Sunday, March 22, 2009

Away to Old Biscayne

I wrote this poem in high school for some creative writing class. Don't know which grade, but as you'll see, I wrote it before coming out of the closet. I know, lol. All punctuation and footnotes have been left as they were. I can't remember if it was supposed to be funny at the time, but it's pretty damn hilarious now.

I went away to old Biscayne
To find m lover true;
I went away to spend my days
In yearning, feeling blue. (But I never bid adieu!)

I went away to old Biscayne;
I hoped 'twas not in vain,
Bus as the months and years did pass,
My hope began to wane. (I almost went insane.)

But then one day I saw my love
Reposing on a hill,
And as my heart began to start,
I knew I'd lover her still. (I'll get her, yes I will!)

She said that day her name was Faye:
"Oh Josh, the pleasure's mine."
I told her she was beautiful;
I'd love her for all time. (Her breath was sweet as thyme.)

And autumn came and autumn went;
And winter's fury fired.
Our love continued in full force;
It never stopped or tired. (We had all that we desired.)

The snowflakes formed a mountain that
Surrounded our abode;
It blocked the veins of men, it seems;
It also blocked the road. (Oh, fate it seems I owed!)

And my love coughed and my love sneezed
And came down with a cold;
Her feet were clay, her eyes were shut,
She said that she felt old. (Oh the pain of which she told!)

Her cold grew worse, her coughs became
The source of violent bile
That rushed out of her stomach like
An inundation vile. (Though her eyes could still beguile.)

My love was not quite good enough,
For medicine she needed;
She needed an infirmary,
For doctors she'd have heeded. (If only we'd succeeded!)

And finally her eyes closed shut
And outward her lungs heaved;
It was her final sigh on earth,
The last time that she breathed. (I was suddenly bereaved!)

The winter passed and summer came
To melt the snow away,
But it could not erase the tears
I shed for my lost Faye. (How sad--she went away.)

But then fair Faye rose from the ground,
A corpse with rotting skin.
Her eyes held fire, her feet were cloven,
And quite broken in. (You may cue the violin.)

And then she gasped and choked back tears
As, from her fattened womb,
A demon child with bloody spittle
Sent her to the tomb. (It was truly her doom.)

(And then her face went boom.)

Then something flew across the air
And hit me in the back;
I turned to see what left ts mark--
'Twas the amniotic sac! (Oh Lord, cut me some slack.)

My heart a-thumping, thumping loud
Within my blighted breast,
I picked up the membranous pouch
And held it 'gainst mt chest. ('Twas as rough as orange zest*.)

The putrid corpse lunged for my feet
As though to muck me up;
I managed, though, to dart away
Fast as a collie pup. (Oh, where's that damned prenup?)

And finally she grabbed the child
And stuck her tongue at me,
And twirled around and then trudged off
In deathly misery. (And that's my tale, you see.)

I went away to old Biscayne
But I was led astray.
My lover's corpse tried to murder me,
Much to my dismay. (And I've nothing more to say.)

*Orange zest Tiny bits of orange peel.

-Josh

1 comment:

Jess and Josh said...

LOL at you footnoting "orange zest." Let's do a dramatic reading of this later.