Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Hills vs. The City: A Case Study

Breaking news: The Hills and The City are the same goddamn show!!! Character comparisons below.


Erin vs. Heidi

- Both were/are roommates with the protagonist of the show.
- Both were unknowns before the show premiered, and both became famous due to their relationship to the protagonist.
- Both never had a real job before and yet somehow managed to score one—Heidi at Bolthouse, Erin at that modeling agency—as soon as they joined the cast of the show. Their jobs are basically the same, and they both sussed out equally blank coworkers to heap their bullshit upon.
- Both serve as the sexual counterpart to the relatively asexual main characters: Heidi had Spencer, and Erin has Duncan… er, and JR.


Allie vs. Audrina

-Both modely, empty-headed types who serve solely to up the sexiness quotient.
-Both have jackass, player boyfriends that cause more drama on the show than any of the main characters combined.
-Both are antifeminists, touting a Spice Girlish mantra of girl power while continually allowing their fuckup boyfriends to treat them like shit.
-Both look good in bikinis.
And obviously Jay is Justin-Bobby though it kind of fucks up the Audrina as Allie metaphor. Anyone have anything else to add?

Basically the only reason I continue to watch this drivel is for the stellar fashion and potential Kelly Cutrone cameos.


-Jess

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