Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Girl Auctions Off Her Virginity, Is a Genius


Natalie Dylan is doing what we all should have done for our first times: she's making money for letting some horny, sweaty dude lay on top of her for 3-5 minutes. And by "money" I mean "$3.7 million!!!"

Dylan is auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder in order to pay for college. I'm sure many will condemn her for this, but I find it fucking awesome. It's a purely capitalist move. She possesses a good that she knows is highly valued to many people, and so she's putting it on the market to see what kind of revenue will pour in. None of this sentimental bullshit about some "precious flower" that is only propelled these days by religion and nervous fathers. She's 22 years old and still a virgin, so clearly she hasn't found anyone worthy of sleeping with her: why not make some money from it?

Besides, your first time (and the second and third) sucks. It's painful and awkward and doesn't feel good at all and in fact it feels like someone is stabbing your insides. If you have to go through that, you may as well make $3.7 million off of it.

I'm sure that Dylan will catch a lot of flack for this, but maybe we should look at it the way Sweden looks at prostitution laws: she is simply selling something she has, but not forcing anyone to buy it. Perhaps those to be condemned are the creepy, old, rich businessmen, willing to shell out millions of dollars for something so antiquated in its desirability.

Though in my perfect world no one would be condemned, but ha this is America and we still are squeamish about sex, so whatever.


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