Friday, October 31, 2008

Holiday!

The more I talk to people and realize that nobody has a clue as to what to do for Halloween, the more I'm thinking about just getting blazed and watching horror movies all night. But that's pretty much what I do every other night anyway. Come on, people! Think (for me)!

-Josh

This Is Not a Facebook Note

So Sam tagged me in an Internet meme-thing! I have to pull up the fourth photo from the fourth folder of my picture file. There are, however, two problems with this for me:


1) I'm not at my home computer.


2) I recently deleted a lot of photos from my computer, because my iPhoto was getting ridiculously stuffed with photos and it would crash every time I opened it. So I'm going to discuss the fourth photo from my fourth Facebook album, which actually goes back further than the files on my laptop anyway.




Well lookee here. It's a photo of me during freshman year, drinking a Sparks in Jess's room. Some things never change, although my bangs certainly did.


-Josh

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Can Someone Explain To Me

1. Why the "⌘L" command exists,

2. Why the tech term "files" went out of vogue (nobody would ever say "All my computer files were erased!" anymore),

3. Why the hell I love the new new Brandy,

and 4. Why McCain is catching up.

-Josh

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This Will Probably Be The Last Madonna Post For A While Unless She Gets Pregnant Or Something

I'm sure some of my (straight) readers are getting sick of hearing about Madge, but I just had to say this. And no, it has nothing to do with the divorce. That's her business, not mine, and if she wants to be a bitch, I'll let her. No, this is actually going to be about her music--remember that?

Apparently, "Miles Away" is the third single off Hard Candy. Not "is going to be," not "is rumored to be," but already is, as in, it has its own single artwork and everything. Also, Turkish people seem to love this song, since it's reached number 2 on their Top 20 chart.

But we're not in Turkey and we expect more from Madonna. So I ask: Really? Madonna wants to be edgy and push the envelope, so she releases this fucking Melissa-Etheridge-visits-Miami song? I mean, it's alright, I listen to it sometimes, but I don't think it's single material. What would be fun is if she released "She's Not Me" and made a totally campy video for it and just went all out. She could even bring back the white tux! I play "She's Not Me" for people who hated Hard Candy based off the lead singles and even they love the song. And yes, an edited version could do very well on the charts, provided people were willing to accept campy pop-rock-electro, which Katy Perry kind of already proved they do. So come on, Madonna. You talk about how "she's not me," possibly in reference to every other girl-pop-singer, but you're releasing as a third single the most generic-girl-pop-singer-esque song off your latest album. Express yourself, don't repress yourself!

-Josh

P.S. Ew I just read on that Wikipedia article that the "Miles Away" video "will be a compilation of Madonna's Sticky and Sweet Tour in a montage." Ugh, Madonna, you are so much better than those half-assed, self-aggrandizing live-concert videos that aren't even really live and only serve to show that the artist still has fans. First you're boring, now you're lazy. My recommendation: Burning a Guy Ritchie effigy and ripping up that behavior contract. Topless. In heels. Just do it.

There Must Be Some Toros In The Atmosphere


-Josh

Selective Memory: As Easy as Selective Blogging


My Dad sent me this article that appeared in an October issue of The Atlantic Monthly that explores the statement, "Why I Blog." Now I know why Andrew Sullivan blogs, but why the fuck do the rest of us?

I do not think the worst part of blogging is anonymous commenters. I do not think the worst part of blogging is being linked to in an unfavorable way. If these were things that effected me in a deliberate and longlasting way, I would simply stop blogging and start writing in a diary.

I think that blogging and keeping a diary suck for the same reason: the worst part is that the pain that you put into them permanently exists, and that you can go back and read that pain whenever you choose. I generally choose to do so after a few glasses of wine or after I've spent hours alone studying or after I had a rough night with friends. I generally choose to do so when I want to feel worse, and I always always end up feeling worse.

I've had this overpowering drive to document every single detail of my life since I was a child. I have diaries dating back to 1995, when I was 7 years old. My first Livejournal was born in 2001 when I was 13. It is mostly about my first time kissing boys, my first time smoking pot, my first time drinking whiskey and my first time lying to my parents. My second Livejournal was started in 2004 when I was 16 and it is about losing my virginity and applying for college and wanting desperately to move to New York City and hating my parents for getting a divorce. It extends to the end of sophomore year of college. It talks about having to quit all the drugs I was doing and falling in love and falling out of love. I stopped writing in it when I started blogging for real. Even though it was private I got paranoid that people who had access to it would dick me over. That's what this world does to you.

Why do we feel like every time we’re unhappy -- or yes, happy -- that we need to document it? Is it so that when we are older we can look back on our lives with fondness and nostalgia, or is it something more than that? Part of me is so happy that every part of my life is neatly packaged and labeled for me to return to when I'm feeling nostalgic, but part of me wishes I could just let everything go and move on. The fact that it's so documented only allows me to slip more easily back into remembering things I should probably just forget.

A blog, then, is like all the shit you shouldn't think about filed, categorized and stored in one specific, easily accessible place. Search terms make nostalgia easier and more painful. Titles make reminiscing immediate. Sometimes I wish I could just destroy everything I own that reminds me of past lives, because it is embarrassing ("Did I really think I was in love with him?") and it is fake ("Did I really overexaggerate that much?) and it is absurd, ("Was I/am I really that overdramatic?")

I think that we are all terrified of forgetting things that seemed so important at the time, but maybe some of those things deserve to disappear. Luckily, forgetting can be just as easy as remembering: just press delete.

So the question is: In this digital age, with delicate, fractured attention spans and a deepening trust in 0's and 1's, is it even possible to remember something you did that you didn't blog - or at least write somewhere - about?

-Jess

Millennials Realize Their New Media Degrees Don't Mean Shit

Vanessa: girrrl
Jessica: hi lovah! how are you?
Vanessa: i'm goooood
just hanging out at my web internship cuz you know cosmogirl folded so i don't work for a mag anymore LOL
Vanessa: except not rly LOL
hows la vie de paris?
Jessica: LOL the mag im working/worked for folded too
fuck print journalism man
Vanessa:
LOL PRINT IS DEAD
Jessica: I KNOW
Vanessa: oh wait
not LOL
fuck my life

-Jess

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Songs about the Internet

Every few months I get bored of my iTunes and want to find new music. I don't know, there's just so many times I can listen to Madonna and the Flaming Lips and...um...Tom Petty...before I need something new to blast into my ears every morning.

I was thinking: Are there any songs about the Internet? Not gimmicky ones from Broadway shows that get turned into amateur YouTube videos but songs released by actual recording artists that are...just...about the Internet. Or even any aspect of modern technology! The only two I can think of right now are "The Call" by the Backstreet Boys and this cute lil' ditty from Suburban Kids with Biblical Names called "Loop Duplicate My Heart," a sweet suggestion to anyone who's ever used GarageBand. Oh and I guess there's this, but it's so ironic, don'tcha think?

So please, readers. Enlighten me with your superior musical knowledge. Songs about software! (Not songs by software, either.)

-Josh

Oh Hi There

This morning I slept through my first class and then woke up to bursts of cold rain hitting my window then I went downstairs and was practically out of coffee and then I spilled half of my watered-down cup onto the sofa. I also cut my foot on a piece of glass from the (styrofoam!) disco ball that we'd accidentally left on after our party and that proceeded to fall and crash into our kitchen at some point during the evening and some of the glued-on mirrored pieces are all over the floor and I thought we picked them all up but the trail of blood coming from the sole of my right food would beg to differ.

It has been that kind of week so far, with a bunch of schoolwork to boot--midterms have ended, but I'm reading the same amount of crap, etc. I wrote a couple things for NYULocal, finally, so go there and read about how McDonald's will save us all.

And I still don't know what I'm being or doing for Halloween.

My point is that, while there are no big concerns looming over my life right now, there are about a dozen little ones that will eventually work themselves out, but in the meantime my psyche is going crazy trying to keep up with it all. Which is why I haven't updated since Sautrday, or something.

-Josh