Friday, May 2, 2008
I bitch a lot about ladymags and how they are always coming up with new deficiencies for women to fret about. But maybe having something to fret over isn't necessarily a bad thing. Pure arrogance is just as unattractive as pure insecurity. A grain of self-loathing can help you run an extra mile at the gym or study a little bit harder for your next final or make you write 10 blogs a day instead of 5. A grain of self-loathing can help you achieve all that shit you want to but didn't have the energy to when you were feeling all happy about yourself.
But I guess the problem is that, if you feel happy with yourself, you probably don't have goals that are as important as that anyway. So what if you get a well-paying job, all that matters is that you're happy, right?
Wrong. Happiness, positivity, fulfillment: TRANSIENT, BITCHEZ. And bound to come a lot faster if you set goals and then meet them-- which is where self-loathing comes in.
Of course self-loathing can reach toxic levels. I'm not advocating hating yourself. This isn't 9th grade gym class. But having the self-awareness to realize there are things about yourself that you should change, and can change, is much better than perpetually thinking you're The Shit.
I'm the Queen of A Little Bit of Self-Loathing. When it comes down to it, I totally love myself. But there are things that need tweaking, which is why I stared at said wispy blonde the entire time I was sprinting today. So, um, just don't let self-loathing turn into a restraining order, heh.
In case they're too small to read, here's a translation:
2008 NYU Commencement in Yankee Stadium
Construction is underway
unable to hold traditional
New York City
and their families:
a historic occasion on many levels will hold
the last opportunity
before the new
Traditional day of
decision compromised, is
the true meaning
one last time as
While we may not
meaningful, and wonderful
a full day.
He couldn't really remember life before something he'd once lived. It was buried, simple as the street-- he was always looking at a woman. There'd been four, more or less. They were still teen-agers, they weren't his. Except for the people coming toward them. Then he'd let go, he would stay empty, die on the ground. He felt after twenty years, himself-- he didn't want. You'll have your fuckin', the stress of it, red-eyed and vaguely aware I'm alive. Making none of them bleed or standing at the side, the pissing rain, watching one near him, the rhythm of every day, sleeping in an empty kitchen.
What the FUCK? What is this shit? STUMBLE IS BROKEN!??!
And thanks for the passive-aggressive reminder that I'm on my computer too much. Hey guess what? I can't go outside and play for awhile, because it is 1am and it's fucking raining! And try finding a lush green playground like that in lower Manhattan!
I guess I'll have to watch another episode of Law and Order: SVU. =/
Thursday, May 1, 2008
My personal feeling is that such a tape did exist only to be destroyed a few months later. I’m sure it showed Lauren looking unimpressed while Jason fucked her in the traditionally boring missionary position. She reserves her O Faces solely for reactions to gossip. The thing about this tape is that I really couldn’t care less. Heidi and Spencer keep announcing it’s true, but they can’t prove it. They’re just giving Lauren license to continue acting like a victim. Get over it. It’s not even a celebrity sex tape I could get off to, or would want to for that matter. Ew Jason Wahler!
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Getting Married
Oh look! A D list celebrity who I swear to god was only 16 and a music mogul who the public strangely and generously forgave for going crazy on TRL got hitched! And she’s wearing a hand-me-down ring! They will be divorced in two weeks. Moving on.
Disney is Hypocritical
Okay is this really anything new? Disney has always been embroiled in controversy. The Mickey Mouse Club gave us some of the most sultry sluts of our time. And does the name Vanessa Hudgens ring a bell? Miley Cyrus may only be 15, but the idea that Disney’s subtle compliance in marketing teens as sex objects is nothing original.
Barbara Walters Had an Affair with a Congressman During the 70s
First of all, I don’t want to think about Babs in a sexual context EVER. Hopefully this was before her face became so inflated with botox that she’d never successfully pull off a good blowjob. Second of all, this shit was 30 YEARS AGO. Why bring it up now? Does it really count as news if it it couldn’t have been blogged about at the time it happened?
The Rachel Zoe/Anna Wintour Fight
Actually, I like this one. It’s arguably the most awesome fight ever, except for the one where Lindsay Lohan screamed “Get your 15 year old ‘Full House’ ass away from my girlfriend!” at Ashley Olsen when she acknowledged Sam Ronson. Zoe and Wintour should have an anorexia off, where they see who can go the longest without eating. First one to the finish line dies of malnourishment and heart failure!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I'll be done soon though, so, yeah. In the meantime, watch this.
The fourth wave feminist movement that Fortini speaks of has been harshly divided between sects of feminists. These divisions are most obviously felt among different age groups.
I consider myself a neo-feminist. I want equality for women, sure, but I differ from traditional feminists in that I believe sex can give women power, not solely take it away from them. Young women in their 20s, like myself, almost overwhelmingly support Obama in the upcoming election. This fosters a lot of resentment from old-time feminists, the women who fought to win us the rights we enjoy today, who believe that we should vote for Clinton because we are women. In their opinion, we should appreciate Clinton as the first woman presidential contender - something they made possible by decrying gender inequality - and show solidarity in voting for her because of our gender.
But I disagree. The true feminist would consider Clinton as sharply as the other male candidates. If we are truly fighting for equality in all realms of public and private life, then Clinton should be held to the same standards as her male opponents.
The trouble is that she’s not. A distasteful sexism that had long laid dormant beneath the surface of society erupted the day Clinton announced her candidacy, and sexists have been taking vicious swipes at her ever since. The most potent and obvious example hailed from New Hampshire, a typically liberal place, where two assholes shouted, “Iron my shirt!” during one of Clinton’s campaign speeches. This is an egregious example, yes, but there are others that signal that feminism has failed to accomplish its goals as well as we may have hoped. A more subtle example is the fact that newscasters call Clinton by her first name, and all the other (male) candidates by their last.
Even though I hate Hillary Clinton, I have to admit she’s forced to mount hurdles that the other contenders don’t. She must publicly attempt to reconcile the female stereotypes of the Madonna and the Whore. And not only that, she’s up against another battle simply because she wants a place of power in our society: Clinton has to reconcile between femininity and masculinity. If she is too masculine, she runs the risk of becoming a target for hateful slurs that condemn her lack of womanliness. But if she is too feminine, voters won’t consider her qualified enough to sustain the tough and harrowing job of President.
Even though Hillary and Obama remain locked in a fight that has the potential to further ravage the Democratic party and allow old, white war veteran McCain to swoop in and win another presidency for the Republicans, you have to admit that Hillary’s persistence bodes well for feminism. If anything, it is finally once again bringing women’s issues to the forefront and allowing them to be examined, discussed, and hopefully some day, adequately resolved.-Jess
Well, my persistence paid off. Literally.
I just got an e-mail from the Senior VP of Alumni Relations, who was present at the meeting where I spoke up to J. Sex, that I have been approved for a $2,000 grant for Study Abroad. Not a loan! I don't have to pay it back! Just $2,000 that my parents don't have to pay, and that I'm not expected to make this summer. Maybe I won't have to work 60 hours/week afterall.
If anything this is a lesson in dissent. Even corporations like NYU have to listen to the little guy sometimes. Please keep dissenting. It's the only way we're going to get anything done around here.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Its main thesis: teenagers fuck, and the world loves that they do. Miley is a sexual person, even if her job is to pretend that's not true. I maintain she's lost her virginity, but if she hasn't yet, she will very soon. She's hot, she's young, she has hormones raging around; not to mention all these people telling her NOT to fuck, which, of course, in the teenage mind means slip your panties off and mount the first guy in sight.
I think the most crucial evidence Defamer presents is that NY Mag recently put out an issue with 14 year old Taylor Momsen, of Gossip Girl fame, in her underwear. How is that not sexually inappropriate? It's the same issue. But perhaps because Cyrus is famous for a kids' show, and Momsen is famous for a show about rich people fucking and getting fucked up, it's not the same. In my opinion, it should be. That's not to say I advocate the seduction of minors, even though at 15 I was totally lusting after the 30-somethings. But teens fucking teens, the public eating it up and Hollywood making money off of it is nothing new. Get over it.
Monday, April 28, 2008
I think I have insomnia. I'm tired, but the idea of going to bed is repulsive. I don't want the night to end. This xkcd comic (by the way, I'm not a computer nerd but why is this the best comic ever? Like it's legitimately art. I don't know how he manages to be funny and poignant, sometimes in a single frame, and it's sites like this that make me so glad to have Stumble) sums it up, sort of. Sleeping is scary. It's losing control; it's hours spent in a confined space; it's the end of a day, but I kind of don't want this day to end, like something amazing will maybe happen in just five more minutes if I stay up, and most often that something ends up being me watching that episode of South Park where Stan's dog is gay, but whatever it's funny and I love Big Gay Al and that show has changed so much since the early seasons, and I remember once my babysitter let me watch an episode and I thought I was such a badass and so cool but I was disappointed by the lack of nudity or profanity in the episode, because I was too young to realize that mature themes don't always mean "he said the f-word!" and I casually referenced the episode to all my friends the next day even when it didn't make sense in conversation.
Also, my Old Navy clearance-sale Christmas pajama pants have a huge hole in the crotch (surprise, surprise), and I didn't realize that when I went down to get my sushi delivery order this afternoon, so a few lucky residents of the Second Street dorm got to see what color boxers I was wearing today.
There is nothing more depressing than an empty bowl of ramen on a dirty wooden desk.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Perez and Dlisted and I'm sure all the other news sources who quit blogging over the weekend and pick up their slack on Monday mornings are up in arms about these new Miley Cyrus pictures shot by Vanity Fair by famed photog Annie Liebovitz.
She's 15. She's topless. They're "racy."
I mean, come on. They show about as much skin as a backless evening gown. Does no one remember Britney, the Original Underage Whore? Who CARES? They're acting like the sexualization of young girls is this new phenomenon. Jamie-Lynn Spears is pregnant for fuck's sake. Let Miley pose swaddled in a 500 thread count silk sheet!
She's underage, so it's her parents who are responsible for keeping their famed Christian daughter covered, not the media's. And it's certainly not Leibovitz's job. If her parents are okay with it, the girl should be allowed to romp around half naked! Flaunt it while you got it, sister.
MSCL came out too early for me to appreciate it in its prime. I was too young to comprehend the darling drama of it all. It premiered in 1994, when I was 6, in a time when MTV was far headier than it is now. They still played music back then. They knew their audience. And their audience was drawn to shows whose messages were deeper than those portrayed on network favorites like Saved by the Bell.
Admittedly I'm new to the MSCL phenomenon, having watched my first episode last year. But the intensity and grace with which the writers navigated teenage life was not lost on me, despite having already graduated high school. There is a self-consciousness in teen shows today like Gossip Girl and in reality shows like The Hills that causes writers and actors to steer away from honesty. I'm not sure whether it's television that has changed, or the audience. Gossip Girl avoids the anxieties that MSCL confronts head on. Theirs is an unrealistic world where problems stem from money; very few teenagers can personally relate to that, but they are drawn in by the desire to have Serena and Blair's problems instead of their own. Reality shows don't even come close to portraying reality; Lauren Conrad hasn't shown an honest scrap of emotion in her entire TV-broadcasted life. What MSCL did, which, I argue, other recent shows have yet to do again, was show life exactly how it is. Fuck glamor. Give me honesty.
Because there was no one in the world more honest than Angela Chase. She captures perfectly the suburban existential crisis, the perils of being unjustly nestled between adulthood and childhood. She spoke so articulately about adult emotions, while still acting brazenly as a child. It was the perfect synthesis of plot driven drama and real life debacle. Because Angela Chase was just so damn sincere. You got the feeling that everything she did and felt on the show, Claire Danes did and felt in real life. I honestly thought the series was lifted directly from my high school diaries. It was that natural.
But do audiences these days even want natural? It seems the shows that are popular in the teenage and young adult demographics are those that captivate us by their whimsy, not their honesty. We want to see the rich kids getting drunk and getting into fights. We want to see the beautiful people dicking each other over and using money as a band-aid. Not to go all Marx on you, but it's kind of a comment on consumer culture today. We like watching the lives of people with money: There's Gossip Girl and The Hills, but there's also The Real Housewives of New York/Orange County, Cribs, My Super Sweet Sixteen, even Arrested Development.
Has our obsession with celebrity culture and capitalism completely erased honesty from television? Do we even want to remember, or recognize, that those things we felt in high school are supremely universal? It seems today instead of desiring a relatable honesty from our television programs, we want instead to entertain grass is greener fantasies in an attempt to live the lives of others, not understand our own.
I leave you with the collected wisdoms of Angela Chase:
There are two levels to this:
The Poke, The Fuck
People who poke you want to fuck you. End of story. If you want to fuck them, you poke them back. It may never amount to anything except some drunken cyber sex, but there's always that chance you'll run into them at your mutual friend's pretentious loft party, recognize each other, somehow still think that your hotness translates from pixels to the Real World, and act on it a la a one night stand. But once you fuck, you can't poke. They're mutually exclusive. Poking is a lot like the frat guy who loses interest once he puts it inside you; it happens and then it ends once it leads to something real, leaving you to wonder if it ever really happened at all...
The Person You Meet Once, Hit it Off With, And then Subject Yourself to Nothing Beyond Online Contact for the Rest of Your Meager Lives
Maybe you met through another friend, or randomly at a club. You really liked each other, and once you friend each other you send flirty private messages and wall posts back and forth. You get excited when your profile shows Inbox(1). You graduate to talking on AIM, and soon to on the phone. It's getting serious. But it can never be because he was only visiting the city and he actually lives in Croatia and the time difference makes things hard and the distance makes things hard and without Facebook, you would have simply accepted the fact that meeting him was a one time thing. But Facebook makes one time things impossible. Facebook makes everything eternal. Now you two are trapped in this in-between, this never never land of messages and jealousy over relationship statuses and falling into e-love, but never being able to act on it. It is torturous, but you move on. You poke other people. Soon you rarely talk, let alone show your intimate poetry to each other. He becomes a ghost of a person, flickering sadly on your buddy list every time he signs on and off. You change your screen name and forget to tell him. He stays in Croatia and you move on to someone else you meet, a cyber crush, a Facebook boyfriend, a love, a lust that will never be, except for on teh internetz.