Thursday, December 18, 2008

Sparks-Breaker, You Got the Best of Me


Well there goes my nighttime energy source. A bunch of lawyers from across the country got MillerCoors to stop selling Sparks and other caffeinated alcoholic beverages. Which sucks, because they were convenient and effective and not nearly as disgusting as Gawker makes them out to seem.

And I'm pissed. If Sparks were actually proven to be dangerous, and lots of people were dying or being sent to the hospital from drinking them, it would make sense to pull them from the shelves. But the concern here is that by infusing these malt beverages with caffeine, MillerCoors is encouraging underage people to drink. But here's a secret, US Law: Teenagers will always find a way to get alcohol. Putting caffeine in these drinks didn't make them more appealing to kids; putting alcohol in them did.

And on whose behalf was this lawsuit filed, anyway? Who actually sued Sparks? And why not just fund better, more responsible alcohol education for minors? Lawyers made tobacco companies stop running TV ads--they didn't tell them to stop selling cigarettes. Maybe the tobacco people just have better lobbyists or something, but cigarettes are way more dangerous than caffeine drinks that are six- or seven-percent alcohol.

A consumer advocacy group leading the fight against Sparks claims that they "encourage binge drinking, injury and sexual assault amongst young people. Because, you know, regular alcohol doesn't lead to any of these things.

Have any more people died from overdosing on Sparks than from noncaffeinated alcoholic beverages? Until someone answers this question, I don't see how this lawsuit makes much sense.

-Josh

UPDATE: Well, that didn't take long. And I have a hunch this'll be the first Facebook group of its kind to reach its goal. (Click for bigger.)

4 comments:

Samantha said...

I totally agree! Who is the government to tell us what we can mix our alcohol with?

SAVE SPARKS!
http://www.petitiononline.com/mod_perl/signed.cgi?1121199&1

Jess and Josh said...

All this is going to do is make more people do blow.

Jess and Josh said...

Joose is the new Sparks.

-josh

JSenk said...

awww josh you tagged my group!