Monday, December 8, 2008

Sexting

My worst nightmare happened to someone else and I'm so happy it wasn't me. Some high school girl in Cleveland lost her virginity on a beach (original!) and instead of texting about it to her friend, she accidentally sent this to her Dad:
If I had to ever, EVER acknowledge to my Dad that I had sexual organs, let alone that I did something with those sexual organs -- in high school! -- I would have to kill myself. Or probably more likely he would kill me. For my safety he would kill me.

Because one of my best friends, David, comes just below my Dad in my phone book, I've frequently almost sent texts to him like "Do you have my bong?" or "I am so fucking hungover." But luckily nothing to this extent. The worst that happened in that department is when the night before I left for Paris my ex-boyfriend visited me for that awkward, empty brand of sex unique only to broken up couples where you realize something is lost and you can no longer cum simultaneously and the thought of having to snuggle after the act is vaguely wretched. Apparently after I came to Paris my dog did the wonderful thing of pulling a condom wrapper out of my trash can and leaving it on the floor in my bedroom for my Dad to find. According to my Stepmother he was shocked that I was having sex and also horrified and also prepared to fly to Europe and drag me home by the wrist. Luckily she convinced him that like, I'm 20, and this is modern day society, and he should stop being such a goddamn Catholic. But poor, poor Elizabeth Frisinger.

-Jess

8 comments:

Daniel said...

who the hell is she wishing was with her during the her first time??

Jess and Josh said...

LOL good question

Vanessa said...

While yes, this is so embarrassing, who the fuck decided it was news? I hate when stupid personal stories like this make the web in forms that aren't personal blogs...like, if you or I or anyone want to overshare, fine, I'll take what comes...but this girl was just busy having sex, sent a (weird) accidental text, is probably in trouble right now (which she shouldn't be, because she's 18, but based on her dad's reaction it sounds like she is, which also pisses me off, because why does sex=trouble for 18 year old girls, especially if it was "gr8") but whatever, I guess I just don't really understand why any of us should know about this. Fucking internet.

Sorry, I'm in a negative mood today. In addition, I totally pull the "uh, I'm on birth control AND use condoms, but sometimes these things don't work so theoretically one day I COULD need an abortion, and if they were illegal I would have to have the baby, and then my life as I want it to be would come to a halt, what do you think about THAT?" argument when my dad tries to tell me he doesn't know if he believes in abortions, so I guess I can't really relate when it comes to the not-acknowledging-you-have-sexual-organs-with-your-dad thing. He usually just ignores me or tells me, "TMI."

stayingsick said...

per news: where did that picture come from?

Sarah A. said...

yesterday my dad came to my apartment, sat on my couch, looked to his right, picked up my packed bowl, smelled to contents and said, "this one is pretty" and put it down.

dads are the bomb.
even the text-dad.

also, the word verification for this comment is "potheas". oh fate and irony.

Jess and Josh said...

I got it from the link to the article I put in this post, but I think one of her friends posted the picture online.

Vanessa said...

well with friends like that...

Jess and Josh said...

Vanessa: I agree with you. If each embarrassing thing I did with technology became a NYMag story, I'd be more webfamous than Julia Allison.

-Josh