"It's a shame what I've decided to let slip through the cracks (or outright fall through giant holes) because even if it was a facade all these years, at least it was comfortable.
The amount of people I purposely avoid making eye-contact with when I walk down the halls is truly astonishing...there was definitely a time during my high school career when I considered myself "friends with everyone." That is such a joke now, except not the funny kind.
The thing is, I don't notice it as much when I'm at school. It's more like when I watch the OC and there's the famous foursome who love being with each other even when Marissa gets expelled for shooting someone (I never thought I'd say it, but what's happening to that show?!) or when I stare at my phone and can't think of a single person I want to call. Those are the times when I kind of think, damn...this is what senior year is? Goodnight." - September 15, 2005, 16 years old
Don't worry, V! My diary talks a lot about The O.C. too. What a seminal event in our lives.
February 21, 1998
Friday the thirteenth I went to Jessica Roy's birthday to see Spice World and a sleepover. At her house, we wanted to request a song on B104 for her birthday. Amanda called in and after a while said, "Shut up." And then hung up. I pressed redial and said, "Can I request the song 'Wannabe' for my daughter Jessica's birthday?" "How old are you?" they said. "26," I replied. "You're only 9," said someone. I kept begging them to play 'Wannabe' and then they said, "We're not B104." I hung up. Then I pressed redial and screamed, "I HATE YOU!" Don't ask me why I did that. Jess got mad and screamed at me and then threw the phone across the room then went upstairs. She came a few minutes later. I lied and told her I didn't really do it. I was a fake. She forgave me. A little while later at night, we started those dirty channels w/ sex on them. After an hour, Jess's dad came down and we quickly changed the channel. Jess' Dad called her upstairs for a minute and when she came down she said, "My dad knew what we were watching."
LOL. I remember this so vividly. My parents should never have let us have scrambly HBO.