Wednesday, December 3, 2008

An Early Reflection

Right now I'm sitting in an almost-empty classroom waiting for lecture to begin. I'm having Naked juice for the first time, Orange Mango Motion. It's good! Like Jamba in a bottle.

Anyway, I'm gonna still be updating and all that jazz, but since finals are fast approaching, this is probably the last time I'll be able to think about something besides schoolwork for a couple weeks. With that in mind, I want to take a moment and look back on the semester.

Jess and Ashley's absences (and David's, but he was already gone by June) were definitely noticeable. As in, I felt them not being here. In a way, though, it was a good time for them to leave, because this was the semester I finally learned to chill out.

I mean, okay, I still go out sometimes and I still freak out over things I shouldn't, but I do both with much less frequency. I learned not every Thursday has to be thirsty. I learned that waking up at 8:30 in the morning for my job doesn't entirely suck. I learned that writing is a perfectly valid way to spend an evening (or two or three), and my stuff has been read by people I'd never thought would notice me, and it's opened up opportunities like NYULocal that have made it clear to me that yes, it's possible that I will write for a living, and yes, that thrills me.

I still occasionally skip class (oops), but it's never because "I just don't feel like it" or "I'm tired" or "I didn't do the reading anyway." I do do the readings now, and I only don't go if I am genuinely sick or completely overloaded with work/stuff to do/it's hailing outside.

I have come to love being home, in New Jersey. Unfortunately, I don't keep in touch with as many (or, well, any) of my high school friends as I should, or even would like to, but it's nothing against them. I just get home and snuggle up in my bed and watch TV and play on my big keyboard and feel like I'm in my own private rehab, only it's the kind of rehab where there's still plenty of weed and alcohol. Also, I no longer have a car, so I can't really go anywhere.

Most of all, I've come to love this blog. I mean, I always loved it, but I now appreciate it more than I ever have. I thought Jess's (relative) updating scarceness would be a burden but it was proved to be a hidden blessing, because as Millennial and kind of pathetic as this sounds, there is a certain joy that comes with hitting the "Publish Post" button, and the more I experience it the better I feel about the blog.

Also, Gawker's imploding and it's so great to watch the commenters rebel. Did I tell you I used to be a commenter? Yeah, I was, but then someone banned me and never explained why, so I asked Sheila about it and she reinstated my commenter status because, really, what the hell did I do, and even though I never commented again because I got the hint, I still appreciated her kindness, and she was my favorite writer on the site and so nice to (briefly) converse with online and now she's leaving and it sucks but I will definitely buy her book if/when it comes out. Apparently there's going to be a Tumblr and everyone who has ever been associated with Gawker ever is going to be on it, and a lot of the old commenters too. This is new media, everybody.


P.S. In case you're wondering, the dry spell continues, droughty as ever. =/


Who We Are: said...

Sheila was the last Gawker writer I really cared about! I'm outrraged, except by outraged I mean "I'm mildly annoyed because there's only so much I can care about Gawker these days." Might as well grow a vagina and head over to Jezebel.

M said...

josh this is so random but what sign are you? im obsessed with astrology and need to know

Jess and Josh said...

Aquarius, but some books will lie and tell you I'm Pisces.

Jess and Josh said...

i always forget that we're both aquarii