Monday, December 8, 2008

Dutch Gays Pervert the Bible; AP Couldn't Care Less

Maybe it's just because bloggers are still boycotting the Associated Press (right?), but nobody appears to notice that the beleaguered news organization recently picked up on a mighty strange story: gays in Amsterdam are throwing a 10-day "Pink Christmas" festival, the centerpiece of which will be a nativity scene with two Josephs and two Marys. It's unclear from the article whether the hypothetical couples will appear in the same manger or not, but either way, I like this. A lot.

There are a lot of things we don't really know about the Bible, including some points that have proven controversial to the seeming Christian masses. Was Jesus black? Just how long did it take God to create the heavens and the earth? And, most tantalizingly, was everyone in the Bible gay?

The point isn't that the Bible is vague and meant to be absorbed in a pedagogic rather than literal manner--which it is--but rather to suggest that there's a lot of weird stuff in the Good Book, and any one group of people that claims to know just how it all went down is wrong. That group is wrong and full of itself and wants to make the beautiful myths of Christ work to achieve their political agendas. We don't really know what happened back then, and if the Bible's authors wanted to tell us more, they would have. The Bible can teach us many things, but it is not a living document, and it says nothing about gays visiting each other in the hospital.

So back to what I was talking about! If a virgin could get impregnated by God and give birth to the baby Jesus, then is it really out of the realm of possibility that she might have been a lesbian? I mean, it's cool if she wasn't, but I think it's pretty ridiculous to allow for only those fantastical elements that you want. I applaud those putting on the gaytivity scene (heh) for challenging heteronormative assumptions about Christian history and fostering this kind of religious dialogue; if the Bush White House--and the larger resurgence of terrorism in the 21st century with which Bush obsessed himself --has taught us anything, it's that devout zealotry is a dangerous tool in the hands of men who wish to exploit such beliefs for their own extremist goals.

Except just kidding about fostering the dialogue, because the AP gives the story only five sentences and ends with a statement from a homophobic Evangelist, as though a gay manger scene "mocks the core concepts" of Christ's teachings ut molesting little boys doesn't.

-Josh

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