Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The City (According to Art Dealers' Kids, Cokeheads and Whitney Port)

The City was despicable and I cannot wait to watch all the delicious drama unfold; or, at the very least, drool over Whitney's ensembles. At least they acknowledged it was fake by having glamour shots woven into the opening credits.

I have a few things to say about this newest and most wonderful series of "reality TV:"

1. Are we seriously supposed to believe Olivia Palermo has a job? As an intern-type person who leads Rosario Dawson into DVF fashion shows? Who has a cubicle? LOL.
2. Thank god for the West Side Story plotline of Uptown vs. Downtown. I'm glad we could use dazed, glossy twenty-somethings to illustrate a Billy Joel song.
3. Jay = Justin-Bobby and Whitney has fallen from my good graces to goddamn Audrina status. Apparently all The Hills and The City are trying to prove is that even if you're a dumb Playboy wannabe (Audrina) or a gorgeous USC grad (Whitney) you become a useless glob of Misogynist-Encouraging Jello in the hands of a mop-headed guy with dimples.
4. Alixe is my new goddess. Her cheekbones can cut hunks of Cheddar into perfectly shredded dairy delights.
5. Kelly Cutrone is still my hero and thank you for pointing out that Olivia Palermo DOES NOT AND WOULD NEVER HAVE A FUCKING JOB.
6. Speaking of Olivia Palermo, I can't tell if I'm supposed to like her or hate her. I mean, I obviously detest everything about her, but does she know she's playing the villain and is exacerbating the bitch inside or-- good god-- is she really like that? Has anyone ever met her? DO TELL.
7. I really hope both Lauren and Brody make guest appearances on the show since The City frequently referenced The Hills. It's so clearly a show solely for Hills fans and I'm not sure it's going to be good enough to maintain that entire audience. At least it's better than Bromance. Don't get me started on that piece of anti-woman shit (but Brody's smile..!)

The show did sort of touch upon something I find to be true: it does feel like, to some extent, everyone knows each other-- or at least knows of each other-- in New York. Manhattan is (sometimes unbearably) tiny compared to most other major American cities and it means you see the same people constantly. (Especially if you read about them online) Manhattan is kind of like a tiny high school where everyone knows each other; I think it was Jonathan Franzen that wrote something about how you can be anonymous and yet surrounded by people you know in NY.

As for the rest of the "issues" the show brought up, I truly hope those watching from outside New York really do think that people get out of cabs with their necks craned at awkward angles to ogle at the tops of shiny buildings, and that you will work with a socialite at a low-level PR job, and that all the guys look like Jay. Keep on dreamin, friends.



M said...

Great review but I wish I could type in my name/url so you'd email me back

Jess and Josh said...

Do the comments not allow that?
e-mail me if you want: jkr243@nyu.edu

LOLSAM said...

I know! The only thing I'm looking at when I get out of a cab (the 1 or 2 times a month I can afford it) is the seat of the cab to make sure I'm not leaving my phone or wallet on it.

Melissa said...

Haha brilliant! Seriously, is Olivia like that? Has she really not had a more exciting occasion to wear her Manolo's to since her deb ball like 5 years ago? Oh, and Jay's picks for dining (or at least sitting) Cornelia Street Cafe, Extra Virgin? not really the trendy spots I expected.

Jess and Josh said...

Well I for one like Bromance and want to be on that show, only I'd be in the jacuzzi all the time, swishing my martini and waiting to "comfort" the latest elimanated bro. It's not anti-woman, just really, really gay.

And something I realized this morning: Where is Whitney going to live? She said she was couch-hopping but it's weird we didn't see her looking at any apartments. To, you know, live in. Knowing where this show came from, she'll probably suddenly find herself in a gorgeous, spacious penthouse somewhere in Gramercy. Which will be considered "relatively downtown" even though it's Gramercy.


Vanessa said...


Uh, but yeah seriously...kind of bizarre how Jay offered his place too ("You know you can stay at my place whenever you want,") if he's actually planning to cheat...