Wednesday, October 29, 2008

This Will Probably Be The Last Madonna Post For A While Unless She Gets Pregnant Or Something

I'm sure some of my (straight) readers are getting sick of hearing about Madge, but I just had to say this. And no, it has nothing to do with the divorce. That's her business, not mine, and if she wants to be a bitch, I'll let her. No, this is actually going to be about her music--remember that?

Apparently, "Miles Away" is the third single off Hard Candy. Not "is going to be," not "is rumored to be," but already is, as in, it has its own single artwork and everything. Also, Turkish people seem to love this song, since it's reached number 2 on their Top 20 chart.

But we're not in Turkey and we expect more from Madonna. So I ask: Really? Madonna wants to be edgy and push the envelope, so she releases this fucking Melissa-Etheridge-visits-Miami song? I mean, it's alright, I listen to it sometimes, but I don't think it's single material. What would be fun is if she released "She's Not Me" and made a totally campy video for it and just went all out. She could even bring back the white tux! I play "She's Not Me" for people who hated Hard Candy based off the lead singles and even they love the song. And yes, an edited version could do very well on the charts, provided people were willing to accept campy pop-rock-electro, which Katy Perry kind of already proved they do. So come on, Madonna. You talk about how "she's not me," possibly in reference to every other girl-pop-singer, but you're releasing as a third single the most generic-girl-pop-singer-esque song off your latest album. Express yourself, don't repress yourself!


P.S. Ew I just read on that Wikipedia article that the "Miles Away" video "will be a compilation of Madonna's Sticky and Sweet Tour in a montage." Ugh, Madonna, you are so much better than those half-assed, self-aggrandizing live-concert videos that aren't even really live and only serve to show that the artist still has fans. First you're boring, now you're lazy. My recommendation: Burning a Guy Ritchie effigy and ripping up that behavior contract. Topless. In heels. Just do it.

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