Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Nothing

I am happy to say I have nothing to report.

Well, I quit my music-promotion internship, because the idea of handing out flyers while worrying about all the homework I have to do just makes me want to kill myself five different ways. And last night my roommate and I got into our first fight--it was brief and happened in the dark, so I couldn't see his face and determine how mad he really was, but still--and now I feel like a shitty person. And the only thing I've had to eat today has been a Jamba Juice smoothie (orange refresher with a shot of daily vitamins--seriously, people, try it, limited time only) but I am only now getting hungry because I realize that the only thing I've had to eat today has been a Jamba Juice smoothie. And the database at my office is broken, so I have literally done nothing for the last half hour and will probably continue on that path until five o clock, at which time I swear to God I'm going to the first take-out restaurant I pass because I will (once again) be eating alone watching TV and trying not to think about how many single gay men there are in this city and surely one of them has to be decent boyfriend material, right?

Whew. All that said, I really have nothing to report, and it feels great. After about a week and a half of changes and moving and stress, I have finally begun to settle into my new home. I'm savoring this moment, between the end of summer and the start of school--it's so rare to be able to catch your breath and look back without needing to look forward. Although Jess and Shloo are leaving me, which actually really sucks but I'm trying to be happy for them instead of selfishly finding ways to rain on their European parade, a few other close friends are returning after summers spent in their respective suburbs (say that five times fast), so I'm excited to see them. And yes, I have to buy textbooks, which are just so expensive and yes my parents are paying for them but yes it's still a burden and I feel guilty about it. And, you know, classes start soon. But I truly love this time of year. Last night I was smoking on my patio and I actually felt a slight chill in the air, and I figured that maybe I should put some pants on (pantsless patio smoking is the best thing in the world), but then I decided that I liked the chill and wanted to feel the breeze, and pretty soon I'll be wearing my cardigans--which, knowing me, I'll start doing too early, when it's still too warm to justify such heavy attire, but I love wearing clothing I've just bought right away because I want other people to see how awesome I look even though everyone else is probably wearing the same thing--and my boots and the pollen in the air will cease their horrendous attack on my lungs, and maybe I'll actually find someone, which is the hope I always get at the turn of the new school year. Maybe he'll be in my poetry class and we'll sit by each other and slowly move, seat by seat, until we're side by side and reading each others' note and making snarky comments about the professor and then we'll go to Yaffa Cafe and get cheap wine and brown rice and then I won't feel a sense of defeat once winter break rolls around and I have no one to wish a Happy New Year to.

-Josh

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