Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I Fucking Hate Hollywood

Because it's responsible for shit like this. Yup, chest bones are "in," whatever the hell that means. Celebrities all over are eating even less and working out more to achieve this latest harmful and hardly glamorous trend.

Seriously? Shut up, Hollywood. Shut up, actresses who are startlingly skinny and play it off like they're not anorexic even though they actually are (I'm looking at you, Calista "I-Must-Have-Vomited-My-Career-Down-The-Toilet-Along-With-Last-Night's-Dinner" Flockhart.) Here's a news flash: If We Can See Your Chest Bones, You Have An Eating Disorder. It doesn't matter if you eat three meals a day; a latte and half a crouton doesn't fucking count as lunch. And so what if you're seen in public at a restaurant? Drinking half a bottle of wine while discussing who you're going to drunkenly fondle at LAX does not a proper meal make.
And like it or not, Hollywood, you're role models. You all are, but especially the young women. Millions of girls across the country look up to you and emulate how you dress, how you speak, what music you like, and even how you eat. It all goes along with the celebrity lifestyle to which so many aspire. So yes, Nicole Richie, when that girl who loves you develops anorexia because she's still a size 4, it's partially your fault. I know you probably don't care, and don't want to deal with it, but there it is. You have a responsibility because you are a public figure.

"But we have an obesity crisis!" you say. True, but I think that maybe, part of that is because our celebrity role models have achieved such unrealistic body types that we've gone the other direction; in other words, if I can't be like my favorite starlet and have a BMI of negative five, then I'm just going to eat whatever I want and never get off my ass, since I'll never be that skinny anyway.

And you should eat whatever you want. It's all about moderation! If you love chocolate pudding topped with bacon and lard, then by all means, go for it. Just...don't have the entire 6-pack of pudding. Know what I mean?


-Josh

1 comment:

ithinkyoureswell said...

bony titties? i'll pass.