Monday, July 21, 2008

The Great Catcalling Experiment: Day Three, Uptown Version

Welcome to an extra special installment of The Great Catcalling Experiment! Sorry to keep you folks waiting, we've been a little... overwhelmed around these parts. This morning the experiment took place around 77th and Park, because I had to go up there at 9 fucking a.m. to go to the French Consulate (again) to finalize visa paperwork. But I got my visa! FLEEING THE COUNTRY IN DISGUST FTW.

Anyway, there are a few observations I had that made uptown catcalling different than downtown. Firstly, the pool of men is a lot less diverse uptown. Above 14th street they tend to be straitlaced, suit-wearing, cell phone-swearing, espresso-swilling white collar d-bags. Which is fine, but they generally don't catcall. Today I got hit on by one businessman with a briefcase and one without. Also, question of the day: if you get hit on by a man with a cane, does it count as 1 person or .5 of a person? KIDDING. But really, I did get hit on by a man with a cane. Be jealous. So out of the five guys who deigned to hit on me while I was running, sweating and smoking my way to 74th and 5th, two ignored me, two asked for my number and one just stared at me up and down like by doing that somehow I would magically transport to his bed. Below we have the graph, in pie form, as suggested by a J&J commenter - hopefully it is easier to read than the bar graph.

I guess the conclusion is that it's much more difficult to get hit on uptown, because I'd be willing to bet there are more married men, more businessmen, and actually a smaller population in general since most of the stores were closed and it is primarily residential. So, if you want to get catcalled or nab a boyfriend, hang around below 14th street. Also, be a gay man.


-Jess

4 comments:

Marshall said...

As if! I have altitude sickness, fuck anything above the park. By the way can we discuss how catcall came into use? I'm pretty sure cats just stare.

eric e. said...

What were you wearing? Maybe you ought to put that into consideration. Also, there should be another category in your chart. Guys who looked at you (thus not ignored you), didn't make a catcall [maybe because they respect you and your space], but nonetheless you made their head turned.

me said...

How do you know that the guys that asked for your phone number wants to fuck you? Narcissist much? Anything for attention, heh, Jess? Did your parents coddle you too much or not enough?

Jess and Josh said...

Because they say, "I want to get with you." There's no mystery. It's out in the open. And this is meant to be an experiment, not a way for me to nab phone numbers.

And if you knew me, you'd know I'm not even close to a narcissist, especially not in the manner you're insinuating.

And leave my mama out of it!