Friday, June 6, 2008

Sex and the City Makes Me Sad in the City

I'm depressed. I'm depressed because I saw the Sex and the City movie last night and it was horrible. Don't read on if you haven't seen it yet and don't want to know what happens.

Now, I'd like to preface this by saying that just because I didn't like it doesn't mean I didn't cry every time Big looked at Carrie with that "I'm pretending I don't love you but I totally love you" face, or when Miranda and Steve reconciled for a emotionally-fueled hug at the midpoint of the Brooklyn Bridge, or when Carrie gave "Saint Louise" that (ugly) Louis Vuitton bag. If I had gone in with no knowledge of the series, no expectations, no emotional ties to the characters, I would have loved the movie. But because I was such a fan of the series, I truly felt like the movie fell short of its intended goal.

First of all, in the series, the girls are all very label conscious. Yes, Carrie loves clothes and shoes and material things, but this movie took it to the extreme. The opening line was: "Every year thousands of women move to New York in search of the two L's: Love and Labels." What... the... fuck? The alarming amount of superficiality throughout the movie really pissed me off. In the series, Carrie liked clothes, but she had substance. She was smart and highly likeable. In the movie they dwindled her down to this whiney, hypermanic, then hyperdepressed version of herself teetering on $500 heels. All of the panache that originally attracted droves of women to her character and gave them the desire to forever compare themselves to her was completely drained. She became utterly two dimensional, obsessed with "love," but mostly just with labels. Anyone who argued before this movie that Big's money wasn't a factor in Carrie's love for him was obviously wrong.

That said, the fashion in this movie was RIDICULOUS. I've never coveted studded belts and 5 inch booties and sack dresses more. My mouth was legit watering almost the entire time because I wanted all of Carrie's outfits so, so badly. Fuck. This movie is making me even more materialistic as we speak.

Then there was the product placement. In every fucking scene I was distracted by the overt display of products which companies obviously paid thousands of dollars for to nab their chance at being eaten, drunk, worn or fucked by the fabulous foursome. The Vitamin Water on the seats at the fashion show? Charlotte's refusal to drink anything but Smart Water in Mexico? A little much.

Speaking of Mexico... wtf? How did half this movie take place in Mexico or LA? This movie is about NEW YORK. "New York is the fifth character," the magazines like to say. Not so for the movie. And WTF at Charlotte shitting her pants? I felt like I was watching the female version of Superbad at that point - oh ha ha, toilet humor, so funny!!!

Then there was the problem of Mr. Big. This sturdy man, this big, rich bad boy that was unbridled and untamable - it was like he had been fucking castrated. Admittedly, leaving her at the altar was very old Mr. Big-esque, but the dynamic between the two of them had visibly shifted. Carrie had all the power, whereas in the series Big did. I liked it better that way. It was more realistic. Were the writers trying to show that men like Big can be tamed? That if you can just be as successful and witty and gorgeous as Carrie, that the rich unattainable emotionally unavailable asshole will fall right into your arms? Give me a BREAK. I'm only 20 years old and I understand that that's just completely not the case. Not that this movie had to be realistic - I mean, obviously, it was highly unrealistic. But instead of being subtly so, as the series was, the movie took it to a whole new level. My friend David summed it up perfectly: "It was retarded."

I'm really sad that the experience was so disappointing. But like I said, the movie was good on a superficial level. As in, "I'm willingly losing brain cells while watching this but I can't look away." I mean, I'm still totally buying this when it comes out on DVD.



Marshall said...

A compiled list of the product placement, sadly not made by the Communist Party USA.

Can't wait for the sequel!

gallatin said...

You mean you didn't like this movie because it's as superficial as you? Now I get your self-loathing.

Deep inside you just want to be these materialistic woman, that's why you went to see the movie. Write back again about the movie when you're 30, I'm sure you'd love Carrie Bradshaw by then. Whore!


How often do you give Josh a handjob? Is it all wrinkly shriveled?.