Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I Love Daria, and Other Thoughts


Just some things that have been on my mind lately:

1. I love Daria. Recently, I found a whole slew of episodes--most of which are of shockingly decent quality--on YouTube. (heh, "Dar1a." Take that, Viacom!) While the characters were for the most part obvious archetypes, I thought there were enough original characters and creative plot twists to give the show a certain accuracy. Though I can't say that I was--or am--anywhere nearly as cool or witty as Daria (or even Jane), I could identify with her occasional familial struggles and cynicism about high school, and life, in general. Watching these episodes almost makes me nostalgic for the days of hallway lockers and forty-minute lunches. Almost.

2. There are few feelings in life that compare to having just enough change to be able to buy the most expensive item in the vending machine. Not that you necessarily go for the two-dollar bag of chips, but it's nice to know you could. I imagine it's what rich people feel when purchasing a new yacht, only they're not wearing their brother's Bar Mitzvah t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, nor would they be willing to sleep with a guy by the West Side Highway in exchange for three rolls of sushi and five hundred dollars in unmarked bills. I'm just saying, I'm hungry.

3. Okay, enough, Hollywood. John Cusack has decided to enter the political arena, for reasons probably as unclear as why he agreed to star in Must Love Dogs. What I love is how he says that his opinion "doesn't matter more than anyone else's," because if that were true then it wouldn't matter that Heidi Montag was voting for McCain, and the candidate himself wouldn't feel the need to remark on her endorsement. And no, not everyone is swayed by an actor's politics, and yes, everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, as well as the right to share that opinion. But there's a difference between putting an ad on your Web site, for instance, and taking out thirty-second TV spots. Because when you think about it, it's ridiculousness that John fucking Cusack's opinion should matter at all, or that he should think so highly of his political consciousness (ooh, that McCain's just like Bush) that he feels some sense of duty to share his views with the entire nation.

4. I hate it when Stumble thinks my romantic hopelessness and crippling insecurity are funny.

5. So, why does NYU becomes the University of Bro-hio over the summer? Seriously, this happened last year, and once again I suddenly hear 3 Doors Down and smell Axe Body Spray in the halls of my formerly quiet yet liberal dormitory. I don't know why Penn State rejects and eternal prom queens think moving to the East Village is a good idea, because they're certainly not looking to expand their horizons. Maybe they want to take classes, but again, why do this here, where there are gay people and beer pong is a novelty? Okay, I know I sound totally elitist and douchebaggy and everything wrong with New York right now, but seriously, new neighbors? Keep it down. Don't make me hate your kind. No, I do not think that Dane Cook is funny, nor would I care to hear your thoughts on Major League Baseball that you half-assedly ripped off from Sports Illustrated and feel the need to express by shouting every thirty seconds and then agreeing for the twelfth time that Ken Griffey Jr. is underrated. I used to have dude's video game, so I appreciate his talents as well, but seriously? It's three in the morning. Take it outside, take it to the Village Pourhouse, just take it away from here.

6. But seriously, Griffey, congratulations. See? I like sports too. Sort of. Shut up.

-Josh

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