Monday, May 26, 2008

Things John McCain Can't Do

A few nights ago I went home to be reunited with my high school friends for a night of drinking, drugs and debauchery. After several drinks and joints, we started talking about how, because McCain was in a P.O.W. camp and therefore can't raise his arms above shoulder height, there are innumerable things the man can't do. Below is our preliminary list. Feel free to add to it via the comments. And thanks to my fav, Matt Greer, for helping me with the list!

1. The YMCA

2. Hang gliding

3. The Wave

4. Be handcuffed to the bed during foreplay

5. Get called on in Mrs. Jones' 3rd grade class

6. Chin-ups

7. Dance like Lindsay Lohan

8. Take off his own shirt

9. Jumping jacks

10. Catch a pop fly


Matt said...


Anonymous said...

Use the monkey bars.
Change a light bulb.

Kelly said...

fly kites
reach the kashi in the cereal aisle
hail a cab

Marshall said...

When this is linked nationally I'm going to be so proud. Also, high five.

Anonymous said...

Slam dunk.