Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sam Ronson's Vag Tastes Like Banana Lip Chap

JOSH: i'm feeling lazy lets just do that thing where we have an IM convo and then paste that and make it an entry
JESS: ok ready go
JOSH: so...how about that emily gould
JESS: Gawker just did... another post about Emily Gould
JESS: LOL! great minds
JOSH: she's like the.... new julia allison of online media
JESS: apparently she doesn't like how she's portrayed as "sexy."
JOSH: i like how she phrased it like she was SO SURPRISED how the photos came out
JESS: cuz like, fucking Keith Gessen doesn't make her sexy.
JESS: yeah it's like you were posed on a bed in a tanktop
JOSH: plus they're not revealing
JOSH: she looks good, but you know, you've revealed more on the blog
JESS: I think you mean MILEY CYRUS revealed more
JOSH: oh right excuse me
JOSH: i'm at this other workstation and it's really cramped and the guy next to me is reading MSNBC.COM
JESS: oh no, why did you switch?
JOSH: but the girl on my other side is playing Bubble Words which looks like text twist only nautical
JOSH: i do as i'm told around here
JESS: hot
JOSH: obedience is the new topless annie liebovitz photo
JOSH: *lei
JESS: i thought it was i before e except after c and when sounding like ay as in neighbor or weigh
JESS: or does that not apply to lesbian photographers who "sexually exploit" young girls in the name of art?
JOSH: i guess annie leibovitz is a gramatically-incorrect exception
JOSH: yeah it's a lesbian thing
JOSH: it's really rosEI o'donnell... few people know that though
JESS: and like... deik
JOSH: jodei foster
JESS: lindsei lohan
JOSH: jesssei jackson
JESS: perez has taken to calling her lezlo
JOSH: somebody get that man a pulitzer
JESS: i feel like if she wanted to become a lesbian she should've gotten in on the portia de rossEI shit because sam ronson's cooch most definitely smells like tar and english breakfast tea
JESS: meanwhile portia's is like diamonds... chocolate encrusted diamonds
JOSH: in addition to tar and english breakfast tea it also maybe smells like days-old stella artois, banana-flavored chapstick, and cocaine mixed with vaginal fluid
JESS: cocaine dipped labia is the new annie lEIbovitz sheet picture
JESS: mmm stella artois
JOSH: it is a good beer
JOSH: better than fucking red stripe
JESS: but red strip is the beer of jamaica, mon
JESS: nothing beats green apple gopher ale though
JOSH: i'm just gonna post this. i don't think we're funny to anyone else but ourselves =/
JESS: i know
JESS: wait let me post it
JESS: i need to edit it to make us look smarter and funnier
JOSH: by all means... aka retype the entire convo
JOSH: "...so then she said, 'that's not my utopian discourse as influenced by the works of milton and pope!'"
JESS: ?
JOSH: smart humor?
JESS: LOL
JESS: goodbye

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

suprisingly, this was actually pretty funny

Jess and Josh said...

shocking, isn't it?