Thursday, May 22, 2008

Loneliness Is A Sign of Weakness

According to Monster, "emotions and compassion" are no longer signs of business "vulnerability." Instead, the only surefire way to avoid being a total financial failure is to NEVER EAT ALONE.

That's right, if you miss out on just one prospective dinner party, your career path could fall hopelessly off-track. Also, bringing business partners along to the gym or to church is recommended, because it's always a great idea to mix business and religion. In fact, this article would have you believe that you should never do anything by yourself, ever. And when you are outside the workplace, you should totally still think about business and networking; the good businessman works out at the YMCA at the break of dawn, and "as he's huffing and puffing on the StairMaster, he answers their questions about investments and loans." Because at 5 in the morning sweating my balls off at a crowded community-center-turned-gym, the first and only thing on my mind will be those spreadsheets Douglas sent over from accounting.

I eat alone all the time. So does Jess. Maybe if we ate alone together for the past year or so we'd both be millionaires by now.


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