8:02pm: OMG! Lily and Rufus had sex! Wtf?!?! On her wedding day? YOU GO GIRL. That shit is dirrrty.
8:03pm: The Blair/Chuck "hatred" is getting old. I need them to cut the crap and just fuck.
8:03pm: Blair makes sequins look classy.
8:04pm: That fleeting look full of whimsy = Blair is totally into him.
8:04pm: Rich people ALWAYS replace their coke addictions with running addictions.
8:05pm: So not his sponsor and definitely his dealer.
8:05pm: OH SHIT I'M SO RIGHT.
8:06pm: Is Georgina way hotter than Serena or am I crazy?
8:07pm: It's still relatively light out in New York. It's weird watching this show not under cover of darkness.
8:08pm: LOL the Venus sisters are sooo fucking manly - eww that dress!! Tennis players should not become fashion designers. Think of all the lycra!
8:08pm: Oh, Verizon sponsorship. Josh Schwartz never did miss a chance for product placement.
8:09pm: THANK YOU SERENA. Ah, finally telling him. IT ONLY TOOK 4 EPISODES.
8:10pm: Dan is too perfect. He needs to not be so understanding. If she would've just told him from the beginning none of this would have happened. Then again, we wouldn't have had a TV series either.
8:10pm: Whoa, Serena's denial totally shows her WASPy roots.
8:11pm: Whoaaa forshadowing, warning us of the blowup about to ensue following Lily and Rufus' consummation.
8:13pm: OMG. Bart totally knows!! He could DESTROY her. He like, owns Manhattan. That's really mature of Bart, you have to admit.
8:14pm: Oh I saw this preview clip on Gawker. I sense sexual chemistry between Dan and Blair. Their faces are soo close together.
8:15pm: "One last battle and the war is won" - PERFECT.
8:15pm: Georgina's outfit is brilliant and perfect for her Cruel Intention-esque behavior.
8:16pm: Oh my God! So fucking lame. Her PARENTS? That's their revenge!? Believe me - girls like that have their parents wrapped around their pretty manicured finger. Add money into the mix and her parents don't give a shit how many show ponies G sold for some blow.
8:16pm: YES!! A stab at Cirque, and then! "At least I lasted longer than Lohan" - all is officially forgiven.
8:18pm: BRB time for some Special K.
8:19pm: The cereal. Special K the cereal.
8:20pm: A girl my boss went to high school with is one of the contestants on the ridiculous "Farmer Wants a Wife." LOL.
8:21pm: Um, why is Derek Jeter in a Ford commercial?
8:23pm: How can Rufus not want to KILL Serena now?
8:23pm: Of course they start playing MGMT when Vanessa walks in. *indie cred*
8:23pm: LOL Blair is wearing Lily Pullitzer!
8:24pm: Oh shit. "Except for you." I think Chuck just made me a little wet? Is that weird?
8:25pm: SERENA'S OUTFIT IS THE MOST SHITEOUS DRESS I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. A sleeveless turtleneck dress with a huge rose doily at the collar and a keyhole? I'm sorry. No.
8:25pm: YEAHH, I knew Nate's Dad would pick up the goodz. Speaking from experience, you'd never do a deal in broad daylight on Central Park West - it's dangerous AND tacky.
8:29pm: I still can't believe they're bringing 90210 back. The CW is soo desperate.
8:29pm: This is poignant. Imagine loving someone, fruitlessly, for 20 years.
8:30pm: "Not that you can ever have enough money" - ew.
8:30pm: Why is everyone dressed like they're in Miami?
8:31pm: "I didn't sleep with her, but I may as well have" = BLOWJOB.
8:31pm: Token gay! You can tell by his pink shirt and floral bowtie.
8:31pm: Lily and Rufus are actually really heartbreaking. This is the epitome of mature. Can you imagine?
8:32pm: Blair has a hideous doily too!
8:32pm: This wedding can't really happen -- can it?
8:32pm: Good job on having Gossip Girl speak the vows.
8:33pm: Phew, I need a cig. -- Ew, more Williams fashion.
8:35pm: No seriously. What the FUCK at that Secret deodorant commercial.
8:36pm: Ohh, shameless Michelle Trachtenberg ABC Family movie plug. She def strongarmed the network for that commercial.
8:38pm: I wish "I need some air" meant she went out for a cig. Seriously - not ONE of these drug addled kids smokes?
8:38pm: Chuck has sincerely switched from evil to savior. And he "was" in love with Blair. Nice try. I'll wage a bet they hookup before the end of the season.
8:39pm: A passport? LOL Dominica! He's jumping bail? What? I didn't even realize he was going to go to jail. Upper East Siders don't go to jail. Money buys innocence.
8:40pm: OH SHIT. Nothing is hotter than Nate Archibald punching his own father.
8:41pm: Is it innuendo that Vanessa and Blair are wearing matching hair accessories?
8:42pm: Am I the only one who wants Dan and Serena to break up? Serena's sad victim act is getting tiresome.
8:43pm: "Maybe I want to break up with you." - YES. Thank you! I don't want Dan to be a victim anymore, even if he is from Brooklyn.
8:44pm: "Too much has happened." That line will break anyone's heart.
8:44pm: Jenny has been noticeably absent from this episode and the last. Where is Little J?
8:45pm: Parting is such sweet sorrow.
8:45pm: Now that Serena and Dan are over, you know that Lily and Bart are too. Rufus is finally gonna get his.
8:45pm: OMG - Chuck is gonna use his toast as a platform to get Blair!
8:46pm: Just when you thought Serena's outfit couldn't get any uglier, she wears black gloves.
8:46pm: Death Cab! So quintessentially Josh Schwartz. I can't help but love it.
8:47pm: Love it when hatred spills into making out.
8:47pm: Gay guy to ruin the day - how typical.
8:48pm: Good. Blair finally deserves a healthy, satisfying sex life.
8:48pm: Ew. Please no. Just let go. Dan - please! For me?
8:49pm: Ew total vom at the time lapse.
8:51pm: Oh wow - Jenny. Since when did she apply for a Parsons internship?
8:51pm: Of course she got it. Oh shit! Eleanor Waldorf. PERFECT.
8:51pm: Blair needs to give me that dress. RIGHT. NOW. Sailor chic immaculately done.
8:53pm: HAHA manbangs!
8:53pm: Ew Vanessa is wearing a belly shirt. We get it. She's trashy.
8:54pm: Friskiness is next to sluttiness.
8:54pm: Nate and Serena are totally reprising the Sheppard wedding this summer.
8:55pm: Something bad is going to happen. I can tell.
8:56: This is getting very soap opera-y.
8:57pm: LYDIA HEARST! LYDIA HEARST! I've been waiting for this moment!
8:57pm: Bart's speech scared the shit out of Chuck. If he doesn't go to Tuscany I'll kill him.
8:57pm: Oh fuck. Lydia Hearst is not cute.
8:58pm: Rufus' band getting a tour is a cop out. Schwartz didn't know how to tie up the Rufus/Lily/Bart triangle. Lame.
8:59pm: This episode overall? Boring. But really - aren't they all?
You know you love me.