Wednesday, April 9, 2008

When Spencer finds out

I meant to post yesterday about the two new eps of The Hills we were delighted to on Monday, but I was so sidetracked by pointless work tasks (making phone calls to uninterested alumni in Seattle, researching for a 10 page paper on the gentrification of The Bowery [as if I could get any more pretentious], getting in a vicious fight with this bitch who COULD NOT GET MY COFFEE ORDER RIGHT), that I forgot to post!

I was so conscientious about it too; I took notes on my laptop during both episodes. Instead of intellectualizing and analyzing it like I usually do (since I'm a day late, and I'm assuming everyone has had their Hills fill from Gawker and Jezebel), I'll just post my notes:

Episode 1

1. Ew @ Heidi’s Georgia O’Keefe-meets- Lily Pullitzer dress disaster but LOL @ “I’m about to punch you in your face.” Always subtle, H.

2. Lo always looks a mess but I identify with her on that because even when I try to look cute there's always something wrong: running mascara, holes in my tights, etc.

3. Why is Kimberly from Heidi’s Bolthouse office running Lauren’s birthday? (Two minutes later) - OH to perpetuate the drama! Duh!

4. Lauren = drunk happiness, the kind of drunk I used to get in high school: all compliments and kind words for sober enemies.

Episode 2

1. Ew @ Audrina’s hat; she clearly got it from a knitting booth at Fairfax.

2. Ew @ Stephanie’s hair. Between the blowdried bangs and the frizzy mess, girl is definitely living up to her Meth Face moniker.

3. Girl in the purple dress at People's Revolution is a BITCH. She hangs on Kelly Kutrone's every word and clearly just wants air time.

4. LOL at Heidi and Stephanie pretending they can't tell if the girl at the club is Audrina. HELLO she has cameras on her. Also, those heavy-lidded eyes and blindingly white almost-buck teeth are clear indicators, girls.


This show continues to grow more fake, and I continue to not care. The girls could start obviously reading from teleprompters and I would still eat this shit up.

-Jess

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