Friday, April 18, 2008

Shocking Story of the Week: Men's mags offensively sexist

I'm currently stuck at work on a torturously beautiful spring day and for some reason we got men's lifestyle magazine Best Life delievered to us, so I've been flipping through it to keep from killing myself. It was all just vaguely offensive until I came across an article entitled "Can I Buy My Wife a New Va-jay-jay?"

Okay, seriously? Women have enough insecurities, they don't need to be worrying about their vaginas as well. But with vaginal rejuvenation increasing in popularity, men really are living the "Best Life."

The article continue:

When your wife gave birth to your children, she martyred her vagina… [now] neither your wife nor you can get much pleasure when you have sexual intercourse. What if we could fix that in a simple outpatient procedure and give your wife the va-jay-jay of an 18-year-old? Wouldn’t that be the greatest Mother’s Day gift ever?

I honestly don't even know where to begin.
1. Do you know how pregnancy happens? You come inside her, and then 9 months later she has to force some screaming slimey thing out of her vag. And it's also the most painful medical procedure a human could possibly endure. Try pissing a grapefruit. Yeah. Are you really going to complain because it's a little floppy now, after giving birth to YOUR CHILDREN?

2. How exactly is giving your wife a new vagina a Mother's Day gift and not a gift to yourself? She derives just as much pleasure from her newly stretched vag as she did before the babies. It's not like after having the baby she stopped being able to orgasm. If she did decide to go through with the operation, it would be distinctly for your pleasure, not her's. It's ludicrous that they try to play it off like it will change a woman's sex life at all beyond the fact that now her husband will want to fuck her while fantasizing about the babysitter.

In other news: WHY IS IT NOT 5 O'CLOCK YET?

-Jess

2 comments:

nayoung said...

Oh my god. We've been talking about men's and women's magazines in my Media & Gender class, and none of us came across anything particularly sexist, especially in terms of articles. This is a first. How repulsive.... Thanks for sharing.

Marshall said...

What if the hot vagina surgeon were played by Kyle Chandler?