Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Hills: Audrina continues to be a scourge on womanity

I'm just going to put this out there: last night's Hills episode was horribly edited.

The producers clearly no longer care if we perceive the show as fake or not. Like I've argued before, the fact that it's completely fake doesn't bother me at all, but I think we all deserve at least a little pretense!

SHOCK: Heidi, She-Pratt, Lauren, Audrina, Lo and Justin-Bobby ended up at the same table at S Bar (Sidenote: S Bar is totally this season's LAX). Heidi tried to instigate drama between Audrina and Justin-Bobby in the name of "being a good friend," while Lauren drowned glasses of champagne and forced Lo to high-tail it out of there with her, claiming, "I can't sit there and pretend everything's okay!" Who knew Lauren had such a low tolerance for fakeness?

Then, in a cafe in West Hollywood, Lo, Audrina and Lauren contemplated moving in together. Last week the previews made it seem like Lo and Lauren ousted Audrina out of their move-in plans, but when they suggested getting a house to Audrina, they all seemed gung-ho about the three of them moving in together. This section of the show was so horribly edited, I had no idea what was even going on. The motives were lost behind vacant stares and choppy dialogue; did Lauren and Lo really want Audrina to move in with them? Did Audrina simply go along with it because she is vapid, dumb and knows her 15 minutes will be up once The Hills' popularity fizzles? DID LAUREN REALLY HAVE TO WEAR AN UGLY KNIT HAT?

We may never know the answers to these questions.

Furthermore, Audrina continued to commit crimes against womanity with her reacceptance of archetypal assholes everywhere, Justin-Bobby. Clearly a cokehead and a disheveled, motorcycle riding wunderkind, Justin-Bobby swooped Audrina back off her feet with a few flashes of his oddly white smile. (Sidenote: LOL at Audrina trying to dress in leather whenever she's with Justin-Bobby. Hello, we all know you secretly love Heidiwood) Audrina, of course, fell right back into his arms, signaling that self respect and restraint mean nothing to the Hills girls. Lauren had Jason (and, arguably, Steven Coletti, who makes an appearance on the show next week), Heidi has Spencer and Audrina has Justin-Bobby: each male character is a protypical asshole who the girls KEEP GOING BACK TO. So now the teen girls in the midwest dreaming of living in LA will know that true love is an emotionless grunge king with a drug problem who preys on women with insecurities.

-Jess

1 comment:

Marshall said...

When Justin Bobby's beard get's more impressive than mine I'm going to be so angry.