While taking a study break at work, two of my co-workers and I got into a little discussion about men and sex. My one co-worker is dating the "nice" guy, which is maybe the polite way of saying he's her bitch; he picks her daughter up from school and brings her soup when she's sick and is overall the boyfriend that girls say they want but then never actually date because they really want an asshole. But my co-worker has been around the block enough times to know that this guy is what a woman needs: well, kind of.
The problem with nice guys is that, well, they're nice. They're nice at the supermarket and they're nice to your parents, but the real problem is that they're nice in bed.
There's this whole cliche about women, most likely perpetuated by ladymags and Friends reruns, that says that women like to make love. We want physical affection. We want to be touched gently and have men look us in the eye and say they love us right before they're about to cum, and afterwards we want to be held and cuddled and made to feel like something beyond a sexual object.
Guess what? More and more that cliche is becoming just plain wrong. Take it from me and most of the people I know: some girls just want to be fucked.
Rip our clothes off, push us up against the wall, call us names, maybe even put your hand on the back of our heads; we don't mind. And no, it doesn't make us whores. It makes us sexual beings, just like all the Maxim reading, jerking-off-in-the-shower men out there.
I'm tired of having to pretend I like to snuggle after sex. Because for me, and for a lot of women, sex and love are two completely different entities: I'd love for you to stroke my hair and touch my face and tell me you love me. Just not in bed. Because in bed I want all that love stuff thrown out the window and I want to be pounded. Hard.
So for those nice guys out there, perhaps heed my advice if you're scared of "finishing last." We like nice, but we also like dominant. Don't be afraid to treat us like shit in the bedroom, and don't get scared that this has anything to do with being "damaged" or having "daddy issues." A lot of women want to be fucked as hard as you want to fuck them. So isn't that kind of a win-win?
PS. My friend Marshall had this insight to add:
Some of us are nice to your parents because we like your parents, and some of us are nice to your parents because we want to fuck you.
It's not as simple as I put it. I mean, this is a blog, not a diary entry, so there's bound to be some rapant generalizations. What do you guys think?