Friday, March 21, 2008

Just because I touched your arm during a conversation doesn't mean I want to fuck you

I don't want to fuck you, I just want to platonically and drunkenly straddle you!

My co-worker Elizabeth e-mailed this to me yesterday and I feel like it explains so much about my life that it's terrifying. It's scary to me how at the base of it, we really are just this clusterfuck of atoms, buzzing around, bumping into each other, and that all of our behavior has a scientific explanation (which usually somehow relates back to basic human instincts, like the desire to mate in this case).


It is no secret that I am a little bit coquettish. I "flirt" with the men who bag my groceries at the supermarket, with taxi drivers and men in subway cars and people at my work. People are constantly pointing it out to me, but the trouble is that I don't consider what I do to be flirting.


Yes I am an animated talker, and I crave physical affection so I will touch a boy's knee or something while talking to him, but rarely does it mean I want to fuck him. And I've been in so many situations where just because I smile back at the leering truck driver, he assumes I'm actually into him.


So this article makes me feel a little better. It's not that I'm overtly flirty, it's just that some men happened to misinterprate my friendliness for sexual attraction. I mean, FYI, when I'm attracted to you, you'll know it. I'm not really a shy person.


I feel like this article could have saved me so much time in high school. I should print it out and carry it around with me and any time a gross guy asks me out on a date simply because I flicked my hair, I can hand it to him and be like, "Read up, buddy. This lady's got standards."


-Jess

1 comment:

Kyle said...

haha nice pic, jess