Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Jess sometimes has a conscience

My dad and I when I had horrible red hair; also, both wearing pink!

The trouble with this is that I was really excited to call my Dad and tell him about my good news; he's great at being proud of me, and I'm great at accepting his pride, so it's kind of a win/win.

But see, now my Dad wants to read my blog. It's fine that my Mom reads it (and sometimes comments on it), because she's okay with the fact that I get high a lot and talk about how girls should have lots of sex and sometimes act like an outright bitch. But my Dad still has this vision of me as his perfect little girl, and if he reads Jess and Josh, this is what he'll see:

1. Lots of talk about my vagina. He likes to pretend I don't have a vagina. To him, my body cuts off at the neck until the ankles. Yes, to my father I am a head on a pair of feet.

2. Posts (playfully) mocking him for scarring me with Solzhenitsyn and being the principal of my high school.

3. He'll know that I just plain thought it was funny when he caught me smoking weed on Christmas, and all that remorse was a bunch of bullshit.

4. He'll know that I'm a harlot.

5. He'll know that that time I slept over at Kathryn Nestor's house in 8th grade I was actually getting drunk, not working on a school project.

Okay, so it's all out there. I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Dad, if you're reading this, heheheh... you can't ground me anymore! And also, okay this is really hard for me.... umm... I'm sorry?

-Jess

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