Tuesday, February 19, 2008

London Calling

On the Tube upon my arrival

So jetlagged

Dinner on Valentine's Day

Buckingham Palace

Big Ben

Hygiene

Abbey Road

I'm back from London, which explains why I'm up at 10am on my own fruition; mostly because it's 3pm in London and when I got home at 10pm EST last night I smoked a bowl and promptly fell asleep.

What to say about London? It's so much more civilised. (See how I spelled that with an s?) It's what New York would be if it worked right. The men are attractive and call me pet names like "Pretty Blonde One" and the store-owners call me "love." I never had to wait more than 5 minutes for the Underground. The weather was a lot nicer than I expected; definitely nicer than New York. They make a mean egg sandwich over there, and when I was drunk I even gave in and went to Burger King (The first time I've had fast food in 5+ years); but it's okay, because they have VEGGIE BURGERS at the fast food places there. (Ignore the fact that they're probably cooked on the same grill as the meat burgers, please. I'm still feeling guilty about consuming it.) Also, of course, the ability to order a glass of wine with dinner and not get sweaty palms and shaky speech when you order it because you're afraid they won't accept your fake ID is very, very awesome. And their Cafe Au Lait is incredible.

But I also have a few complaints:

1. The Tube doesn't run all night. In fact, it closes at 12:30am. So if you want to get back from a bar without having to pay some ridiculous amount for a taxi, you have to be done drinking by like 12:15am. In New York, we don't even usually go out until after 12:15am. Also, there were some points when I'd be so tired of walking that I'd just want to hail a cab. Unfortunately, you can't really do that there. It's one of the things I love about New York.

2. Besides the fact that everything is expensive (that's kind of a given, considering the exchange rate), they charge different prices for take out ("take away") and eating in. It's less expensive to take away, but then you have to make sure you don't eat it on their premises or they'll yell at you about some tax they have to pay if we eat there. It's so bizarre.

3. The exclusiveness of bump and grind clubs: They wouldn't let my friend into one of their clubs at first because she was "dressed down" aka wearing jeans. This would NEVER happen in New York. It's hilarious. Do they not know New York trumps all other cities in every way?

Overall I had an incredible time being with Justin and exploring the country. Unfortunately I missed my flight on the way back; apparently Air Canada requires you to be there an hour before or else you're not allowed on, so even though it was the Tube's fault and my flight wasn't leaving for another 50 minutes, they made me rebook. So I ended up flying 8 hours to Toronto with an Indian woman who acted exactly like my Grandmother, yelling at me for putting my bag under the seat instead of overhead, complaining about the meal they gave her, and getting up to go to the bathroom every half hour. The only redeeming thing about the flight was that we had our own TV screens with On Demand and they had some really good movies on there. I watched Things We Lost in the Fire (I bawled) and some French film. I also took a lot of Xanax so mostly I just stared at the seat in front of me in a stupor.

It's good to be back in the US. I miss Justin and I miss double decker buses. But now I have weed and taxi cabs.

-Jess

1 comment:

Matt said...

the big ben photo is really nice