Thursday, February 28, 2008

Like a virgin- touched for the fourth, or fifth, or sixth time

Jezebel pointed out this site from the Pregnancy Resource Center of Northeast Ohio that discusses how to become a renewed virgin. They all but suggest hymen renewal, which is fucking creepy and goes to show some men's obsession with wanting girls to look and, well, feel completely pre-pubescent. (Sidenote: why is the model on this site Muslim? It just goes back to antiquated notions of men only wanting to marry virgins).

I'm sorry, how exactly can you become a virgin again? If you lost it, you lost it, and no amount of vaginal rejuvenation is going to bring that back. So I'm sorry if you lost it in a car, with your high school boyfriend, who had problems with premature ejaculation. Or at a party after a few drinks with some guy named Angelo who smelled like cedar chips and B.O. and said your name right before he came. But YOU'RE NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE.

Speaking of, what's the deal with guys and virgins? It's not like taking a girl's virginity is particularly sexy. When I lost mine I'm sure I just laid there with this unattractive grimace on my face trying not to cry out in pain. Hey-- so not sexy. Wouldn't you rather fuck a girl who knows what she's doing? Who can actually have an orgasm instead of whimpers every time you pull out? Why the FUCK would you want to make your vag as tight as a virgin's, if it's just going to hurt to loosen it up all over again? It also bothers me that it's up to women to get this procedure done; maybe if guys had bigger dicks we wouldn't have to have such tight vaginas. OOH SHIT.


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