Last night after smoking a bowl and watching "Across the Universe," I started thinking about the most random jobs and the people who do them. Because you know there has to be a group of people that do these things. In my stoned mind it seemed so fascinating: how do you become something like that? Is it passed down generation to generation? Or do you just kind of stumble into it because you have bills to pay? So here's the list I came up with --
1. Army officers who go to families' homes to report on war casualties: I'm not sure this actually happens because I've only ever seen it in movies (thankfully), but who the fuck wants this kind of job?
2. The people who fix parking meters when quarters get stuck in them: Are they paid by the government? What do they do with the stuck quarters? Do they keep them and buy a coffee? Or do they have to turn them into the parking patrol?
3. People who test condoms: There must be some. How else would they know how effective they are? I kind of want to be this person. Wait, no really. Where do I sign up?
There were more but at this point I'm sober so I can't really remember them.
Also, Across the Universe is fucking weird. But I kind of want to be Evan Rachel Wood, minus the whole Marilyn Manson thing.