Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hey, We Totally Haven't Forgotten The Blog!

Jess and I have just been too busy suffering through suburbia to update. Once we're both back in New York, though, expect more updates.
In the meantime, it's not often that stupid Internet cartoon things are 100% true, but in this case I think I've found a gem.
I can't exactly pinpoint where New Young Pony Club would be located on the spectrum. What you do think?

-Josh

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Non-Denominational-Winter-Celebration-Mas!

JESS: ok forecast for the next 5 minutes:
JESS: i pour a glass of wine for myself and walk into the family room where my dad, stepmom, grandma and sister are gathered round the tree watching abc family holiday movies
JESS: my dad and grandma give me disdainful looks for drinking wine
JESS: my sister makes a comment about me drinking wine
JESS: and my stepmom asks why i didn't pour her a glass
JESS: and then i throw the wine onto the new rug and run upstairs crying
JOSH: and smoke up
JOSH: okay can i give you my forecast for any given day i'm at home
JOSH: i wake up at 3 cuz i'd been up til 5 am the previous night watching tv cuz i dont wanna fall asleep worrying about my problems
JOSH: i am in no mood to deal with my parents so my dad says good morning and i'm a bitch and he looks sad because we'll never be best friends again
JOSH: my mom calls from work to see how i am but i rush her off the phone cuz the more i talk to her the more stressed i get, and then she sounds sad too cuz she thinks i only like her when she buys me stuff
JOSH: then my brother tries to talk to me about things i don't care about and i cant feign interest so he looks hurt and thinks he's a bad brother
JOSH: basically i alienate everyone in my family
JESS: ME TOO. Ahh that is so my life.
JESS: and like i don't hate them i really don't
JOSH: i know!
JESS: i just don't know how to interact with them anymore
JOSH: and when i'm in ny i like imagine myself… next time i'll be nicer
JESS: YES
JOSH: but it never happens.
JESS: why IS that?
JOSH: i have no idea
JESS: i don't know why i cant just deal with them. maybe it's that my life is so different from theirs now… school in new york, etc
JOSH: yeah
JESS: i almost feel like we think we're better than them or something. like subconsciously.
JOSH: yes. i definitely do
JESS: like we look down on their little suburban lives. And think… how sad. I won’t end up like that.
JOSH: i treat my friends with an air of condescension
JOSH: but instead we'll become borderline alcoholics who can’t handle their family problems.
JESS: i don't mean to i just feel like i've... experienced more or something
JOSH: exactly. i live in new york. i've done so much that they'll never do

Now go drink.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

How the suburbs breed substance abuse

See below:


PS: Sorry for the hiatus. This is how it goes-- Thursday night Josh and Jess went out together to this place called Upstairs where two of our friends were throwing a party. Jess consumed so many drugs and so much alcohol that she was literally drunk until the next day at 3pm, and spent the whole day throwing up. It was not conducive to blogging. Then, yesterday, Jess and Josh both spent the day with their families aka on the brink of suicide. Luckily, being with the fams means you can compile a kickass drug consumption chart to put on your barely read blog. Look forward to many of these charts, until the day I overdose, and the whole chart is filled in with the word: VICODIN.
-Jess