Monday, December 17, 2007

When did knitting and baking become badass?

In response to The Dangerous Book for Boys put out by brothers Iggulden, Andrea Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz, reppin my hometown of Philly, have released The Daring Book for Girls, because like, GIRL POWER. Unfortunately, the book has turned out to be kind of a disappointment. Apparently, for Buchanan and Peskowitz, being "daring" constitutes pressing flowers, making cootie catchers and baking brownies, all activities that make me think of Little House on the Prairie and Martha Stewart, respectively. This is the kind of book your weird aunt buys you for Christmas, thinking that she's soo cool, in lieu of a Gap pajama set. This is also the kind of book you lose under your bed by December 27th.

This book also brings up gender issues: first of all, the boys' book uses the word "dangerous" in the title, and the girls' uses "daring." That would be because if women are termed "dangerous" in society, it reflects negatively on them, while if guys are termed "dangerous" it means they're badass and manly. The word "daring" implies that it's okay for women to break outside the box a little, but step too far outside of society's applied gender role, and you might be dangerous-- aka a prostitute or drug addict or something of the sort.

Well, naturally, I say-- FUCK THAT. Here's what I think girls should be doing to be both dangerous and daring:

1. Sneak out of your house: You will learn more things about yourself and the world if you choose to disobey your parents and capture a little freedom. I was a bad kid when I was a teenager, and not one ounce of that "badness" reflects on my character now. Breaking your parents' rules when you're a teenager is what you're supposed to do. You need to assert your independence. So don't be afraid to climb out that window! Your parents will eventually forgive you. Mine did.

2. Build a bong, and boys will come. Seriously, they'll worship you. Also bongs are fun.

3. Sneak liquor from your parents' liquor cabinet. Here are some hints:
a) If they've caught on to your antics already like mine did by the time I was 15 and have marked a line on the bottle, be sure to fill it back up with water. This means you should really only take clear liquid without having to worry that they'll find out.
b) Only siphon liquor when no one is home.
c) Put it in a water bottle and hide it somewhere your dad won't go. (Your underwear drawer)

Seriously, girls. Be brave and bold and don't let the adults get you down. High school will be over soon and you can be free to sleep with whoever you want, drink whatever you want and do as little or as much studying as you want. Fuck knitting. Go pour a drink.


No comments: