JESS: ok forecast for the next 5 minutes:
JESS: i pour a glass of wine for myself and walk into the family room where my dad, stepmom, grandma and sister are gathered round the tree watching abc family holiday movies
JESS: my dad and grandma give me disdainful looks for drinking wine
JESS: my sister makes a comment about me drinking wine
JESS: and my stepmom asks why i didn't pour her a glass
JESS: and then i throw the wine onto the new rug and run upstairs crying
JOSH: and smoke up
JOSH: okay can i give you my forecast for any given day i'm at home
JOSH: i wake up at 3 cuz i'd been up til 5 am the previous night watching tv cuz i dont wanna fall asleep worrying about my problems
JOSH: i am in no mood to deal with my parents so my dad says good morning and i'm a bitch and he looks sad because we'll never be best friends again
JOSH: my mom calls from work to see how i am but i rush her off the phone cuz the more i talk to her the more stressed i get, and then she sounds sad too cuz she thinks i only like her when she buys me stuff
JOSH: then my brother tries to talk to me about things i don't care about and i cant feign interest so he looks hurt and thinks he's a bad brother
JOSH: basically i alienate everyone in my family
JESS: ME TOO. Ahh that is so my life.
JESS: and like i don't hate them i really don't
JOSH: i know!
JESS: i just don't know how to interact with them anymore
JOSH: and when i'm in ny i like imagine myself… next time i'll be nicer
JOSH: but it never happens.
JESS: why IS that?
JOSH: i have no idea
JESS: i don't know why i cant just deal with them. maybe it's that my life is so different from theirs now… school in new york, etc
JESS: i almost feel like we think we're better than them or something. like subconsciously.
JOSH: yes. i definitely do
JESS: like we look down on their little suburban lives. And think… how sad. I won’t end up like that.
JOSH: i treat my friends with an air of condescension
JOSH: but instead we'll become borderline alcoholics who can’t handle their family problems.
JESS: i don't mean to i just feel like i've... experienced more or something
JOSH: exactly. i live in new york. i've done so much that they'll never do
Now go drink.