Thursday, December 13, 2007

I can't help it, I'm skurred

Browsing through the (faux)awesomeness of NYmag this shitty afternoon, I came across the Personal ad for someone who calls himself "Dontbeskurred." He's actually attractive in a bespectacled Taye Diggs I-wear-pink-shirts sort of way, but I really don't think I could date anyone with the screen name "Dontbeskurred." First of all, come on, we all know it's scared. Second of all, "Don't be scared" is kind of what I picture a rapist saying right before they put their hand over your mouth and pull you into a back alley; somehow that image doesn't make me want to e-date this guy, even if he is "tres affectionate." I wonder if he's actually fluent in French or if he only speaks Frenglish to impress les mademoiselles? And in internet lingo, doesn't boyish charm mean "I have a little peen?" Ad below.

Dontbeskurred
Why you should get to know me: "I am noble, tres affectionate, silly, and still possessed of boyish charm."

-Jess

PS. Upon further investigation, Mr. DBS is apparently an amateur masseuse, who claims "his massages will bring you closer to God." Oh, those silly religious nuts, always trying to rationalize how getting you in the sack makes them a better Christian.

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