Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Lauren Conrad pisses me off

A couple weeks ago I posted about how Audrina's decision to break up with Justin-Bobby was a step in the right direction towards female empowerment, and that it taught girls all across the nation not to sacrifice anything for a guy who treats you like shit.

L.C. just undid all of Audrina's work.Last night, on the season finale of The Hills, Lauren spent the first half of the show lamenting Lisa Love's (this CANNOT be her real name) decision to send Whitney to Paris instead of her. I loved Lisa (pun!) for that because Lauren was finally getting what she deserved; last season she decided not to go to Paris because she wanted to move in with Jason. She sacrificed her career for some coke-addled frat boy with a beer belly. Of course the two broke up like a week later and Lauren was fucked. She had now lost the "love of her life," as well as the respect of her boss. So when Lisa told her she wasn't going to Paris, I felt validated: girls need to be shown that this is what happens when you decide to put your boyfriend's interests before yours. Most relationships end (badly). It's a fact. You have to make sure you have something without a penis to fall back on.

Heidi demonstrated this in the final episode when she and Spencer got into a huge fight. She complained to Kimberly (who the fuck is Kimberly, BTW? She hasn't been on the show AT ALL until like, this week) about how she "gave up everything for Spencer." And it's true. But it's also her fault. She made the decision to put Spencer before her friendships, and now she has no friends except Spencer's methhead sister. And by the end of the season, she has nothing to show for it, so she packs her stuff like a little bitch and flies back to Arizona. I guess all of this could be negated due to the strange idea that we know for a fact Heidi and Spencer do not break up, because Us Weekly reports on their ongoing romance every week. But still, Heidi is fucked if (when) their relationship doesn't work out.

So after Lauren complains about how she's not going to Paris, SURPRISE, Lisa Love says that Kimball and Whitney need help and that she actually IS going to Paris! Yay! Trouble is, now she doesn't have to face any repercussions for her shitteous decision to put some dumbass alcoholic in front of her own professional and emotional needs. She gets to go to Paris, which is of course a metaphor for success in this case. In the end, Lauren gets what she wants, and girls everywhere see that you can fuck up your life royally by allowing men to come before you, and still be rewarded.

So thanks, Lauren. You just set women back another 30 years. Now I'm just waiting for Heidi to allow Spencer to enter into a polygamous marriage. I think I saw that on the preview for next season.

-Jess

EDIT: The preview for the episodes when Lauren and Whitney go to Paris make me hate her a little less. Brody announces he has a girlfriend (douchebag) and Lauren rebounds with literally the hottest French guy EVER. Feel free to pause it like I did when he appears on the screen smoking a cigarette. I think I just orgasmed. GO LAUREN. Put Brody in his place! I bet that French guy knows how to use his baguette. (cue obligatory anti-pun sigh)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

um, he is soo ugly, but then again, jason was pretty disgusting looking too. and so was stephen...and brody kinda had a weird shaped head. hm, this leaves me to conclude that lauren conrad lacks taste in men.