Monday, November 19, 2007

It's Official: Jakob Lodwick and Julia Allison wish they were Josh and Jess

And I thought this blog was the only blatant vanity project on the internetz. I guess I was wrong. College Humor creator and literally the most pretentious douche bag to ever walk this fine earth, Jakob Lodwick , has launched a blog with his girlfriend, pretty-but-not-all-there Star Editor-at-Large Julia Allison. The blog reads like the diary of a vapid 13 year old girl, complete with pictures of the two kissing, and little snippets about each other such as: "Julia doesn't know who Radiohead is!" and "I think I cried about seven times and lost my temper at least three." (The last quote was from Jakob, of course).

Jakob goes on to further expose himself as a misogynist A Doll's House style, writing about Julia's obvious flaws as having "great potential" as he can "expose her to the classic art that my friends and I have loved for years." Julia is so lucky to have a man like Jakob who can teach her the important cultural and geographical differences between Beer Pong and Beirut. I wish my boyfriend viewed me as a vacant vessel to pour all of his snobbish opinions and intellectual rigor into until I could stand in his image, the Eve to his Adam. Hey Jakob-- call me!

-Jess

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