Monday, November 26, 2007

Gossip Girl: An intellectual, deeply touching analysis of the lives of WASPy bitches

Before you skip this entry due to a pretentiousness that forbids you from enjoying the intellectual phenomenon that is the CW's Gossip Girl, hear me out: Is not this whiny, drunken O.C.-wannabe show an allegory for all of our miniscule lives?

Take Kati and Isabel, the token black and Asian friends who dress creepily alike in every episode. They are Blair Waldorf's clan, her minority doppelgangers, if you will. Do not you have one Asian and one black friend to whom you turn when your white friends are being, well, too white? Do not they dress alike in equal amounts FUBU and Hello Kitty? Exactly.

And what about Nate's father's cocaine addiction? I loved the part when he started talking a lot when he was out to dinner at the Waldorf's. That was, like, SO realistic. That guy just would not shut the fuck up. Which is perfect because all the people I know who do coke get 6 grams at a time in a gigantic ziploc bag and omgtheyfuckingtalklikethisdoyougetwhati'msayingthispartyissoawesomei'mgonnatakemytopoffforlastnightspartytonightAHGIVEMEANOTHERLINE.

The most troubling part of the show, for me, has to be the intricate relationship between Blair and Nate. Can't Nate just give Blair his mother's antique heirloom diamond-platinum ring? Can't they just get married and populate the Upper East Side with more skinny, brunette people just like them? Do they not realize that world peace will only be achieved if the Archibalds and Waldorfs become one awesome conglomerate, er, family?

One can only hope that all of these problems will be resolved by the end of the first season. But like, OMG, Serena and Dan are totally fucking!

-Jess

1 comment:

Mazi said...

good use of the word doppelganger